Stickers Are Minions of Satan

Big Kid 26

messy deskWhen I was a kid, I loved stickers. No, "love" isn't the right word. Take love and multiply it by a quatrillion and then you might get close to how I felt about them. I coveted them, neatly placing them in a sticker album, which then turned into a photo album. Of stickers.

I was a little obsessive about my sticker collection, I'll be honest, but I feel like my peers were too. Luckily, I did grow out of that phase.

Besides buying teeny-tiny socks and wee diapers smaller than maxi-pads, I was most thrilled about turning my kids on to stickers. Certainly if my children were, in fact, not switched at birth, they too would immediately love stickers and want to keep them safely in a book, squirreled away to only be viewed with sterile gloves and a hazmat suit on. You know, so they wouldn't ruin the finish.


So perhaps introducing stickers to a baby was a bit young. My son took one look at the shiny stickers I'd put in front of him and vomited. All over the stickers. As a toddler, he was more interested in the delicious lollipop than the stickers they'd offer after a doctor's visit. I, of course, was knee deep in the sticker basket by the time he said, "C'mon Mama, let's go."

Since he clearly wasn't interested in the stickers, I took a few home to his older brother, figuring my eldest would finally see the light and decide that stickers were, in fact, full of the awesome.


My then-8-year-old son, sweet child that he is, decided that what Mom's minivan (hey, let's not call attention to the fact that I have a minivan, okay? Okay.). REALLY needed was not racing flames up the side or one of those programmable LED things that you can stick in the back to read things like, "GET OFF MY ASS" in snazzy letters.


What my minivan needed was DECORATING. And what better to decorate with than a buttload of stickers that I, personally, had given him. So really, who could I blame? ME. That's who.

That's, at least, what I told myself after I painstakingly tried to remove the stickers from the inside windows, scraping at them with a mixture of rubbing alcohol and a paint chipper. That didn't comfort me when I realized that rather than fixing the problem (removing the sticker), I simply created a smeary mess of sticker goo on the inside of my window.

I only had myself to blame, I told myself, when I realized the one he'd stuck directly on the front of the car's hood wouldn't come off, no matter how I tried.

It genuinely wasn't any consolation that it was my own stupidity that caused this ridiculously tacky snafu. It didn't make me feel better at all when I realized that he'd inadvertently made my own ugly minivan uglier.

So I guess it's time to get those flames painted on the side. Or a nice version of three-wolf moon. Because if you're going to be tacky, you may as well OWN it.


behavior, activities, discipline, kid activities


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nonmember avatar grace

I hear Windex takes off that sticker residue pretty well...

nonmember avatar Stacey

LOL I loathe stickers! Especially the ones that are on fruit, they make ME want to vomit, so i felt your baby's paine. i think it's a sensory thing for me, as i cant stand to even touch stickers, and I HATE they sound they make when the sticker gets pulled of cloth (i.e. pulling a "hello my name is.." sticker off your shirt...EEK!!).

Here's to hoping my baby "sticks" with paper dolls and lollipops. If not, I will buy her the obligatory stickers.

kjbug... kjbugsmom1517

I hate stickers..... Soooooo much.... And somehow my kids always find the dam thigs that my step mil lovingly sends and I hide before they even know a package came!

Char_... Char_gal4

Stickers?  HA!  Just wait until they get into GLITTER!  When my older sister and I were kids, Mom and Dad got us glitter sidewalk chalk.  To this day, at least 15 years later, we still think there is glitter in the cracks of that driveway (we had moved away from that house 11 years ago)

coyshell coyshell



momto... momtolittleg

I spent the better part of Monday afternoon scraping stickers off my daughter's play table.  I thought I could just gently peel them off with my fingernail.  HA!  What ended up working was Clorox Clean-up- let that shit soak on there for about 5 minutes and voila!  A paper towel and a little rubbing and off they came!

I have to say how much I hate seeing car windows covered with stickers.  I've NEVER let my kid have stickers is the car again after ONE incident of stickers on the window.  NOT fun to get off.

kisse... kisses5050

 Krud awesome to get sticker guts off... I hate glitter

yayhe... yayheadstart

Too funny! All the windows in my minivan are covered in stickers! At first I was a little peeved, but now I think they actually look kind of cool. The stickers all over my kids' bedroom door is, however, a different story.

nonmember avatar Mike M

Using a hair dryer to heat up stickers should help soften the adhesive and make it easier to remove them. And if a sticker (or something I commonly do this with: tape) stays in one piece but leaves some adhesive behind it's usually possible to use the tape/sticker to remove the remaining adhesive by repeatedly reapplying it in slightly different positions and pulling it off again. If not I tend to use rubbing alcohol (and take my time with it as it's not a very powerful solvent), or if I absolutely need to remove the adhesive I may use acetone (which can be found in many nail polish removers but only at a concentration of about 30-60%) (but only in a well ventilated area such outside as I value my brain cells), though acetone often dissolves paints and plastics so it's best not to use it on such surfaces. There are commercial products that should help and not be too toxic but I haven't used any.

Krist... KristinRox

I use to love stickers but always wondered what I was supposed to do with them because I wasnt allowed to stick them to anything except paper. Which was boring. I hardly ever buy them for my kiddos.

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