bikinis on rackBy now we know full well that folks will put anything up on Facebook. Not much is sacred — which is interesting because people who will barely speak to each other if they cross paths in public are so open behind the sanctity of their computer screens. In real life, you gotta check their pulse to make sure they’re responsive, but on The Book, they’ve got all the personality. It’s mystifying.

More than anything, I get aggravated when people detailing every facet of their lives on the world wide web post pics of themselves on vacation, and in a bathing suit no less. I rarely see an instance where that was a good idea. And it really, really crosses the line when they flash pics of their poor baby girls outfitted in two-pieces.

The whole point of a bikini is to show more skin. So why exactly would a mother want her daughter to do that? A 4-year-old in a triangle top and skimpy bottoms is just disturbing. 

Actually, as I was posting this, I stumbled across a pic of a little girl in a two-piece that I was going to use for the story. But I felt so bad — one, because she looked so unnatural in her tiny little garment, and two, because I was making an example out of the poor, unsuspecting child — that I opted against it. No need to take a little one any further down the low road just for the sake of having companion art. You get the picture in your head anyway because we’ve all seen it before.

In a world where little girls are being snatched off the streets and sold into sex slavery, and perverts and pedophiles are lurking everywhere from the local 7-Eleven to principal’s offices, I can’t for the life of me understand why a mother would encourage her girl child to sex it up in a piece of fabric that’s designed to put more body on display. I don’t want anyone lusting after my child. I’m already fighting them off like uncaged hounds.

She doesn’t get that. But that’s part of my job as her mama. To anticipate the crap she doesn’t yet know she’s going to have to deal with. As a woman and as a person living life in general.

A few weeks ago, a friend of the family gave The Girl a season pass to Six Flags. Naturally, she was amped to go and I was excited that she was excited. The only caveat? She needed a new bathing suit. The one she had had been banned in the Harris house for lack of coverage. It was purchased while she was staying with her father’s side of the family so that she could make an impromptu trip to the pool in the hotel they were staying in. But this thing was a friggin’ string bikini.

So in order to take advantage of the season pass, I hauled Miss Thang right on out to Target to find a new bathing suit. She wasn’t thrilled because she didn’t see anything wrong with the stringy thing her daddy had purchased. I was peeved because I couldn’t wrap my mind around a man buying something so scanty and small for his own 12-year-old daughter to wear.

Needless to say, Daddy-O won this round of the unspoken cool parent contest and Mommy Dearest got many unpleasant thoughts darted in my direction, I’m sure. As a mother, I realize I’m not here to win any popularity contests, so I’ve developed the ability to block out those kinds of vibes and ignore any comments, should they bubble up to the surface in a whine, sulk, or a huff and puff tantrum.

Target didn’t help my case much. Neither did the Old Navy or Marshalls in the same shopping center. Tween Girl was right — all of the cute bathing suits are bikinis. The very few one-pieces we managed to find were matronly or, even worse, maternity. And selling a preteen girl on a plain black unitard with no bells, whistles, beads, or snazzy design elements was a no-go, especially since even I like a little razzle dazzle on my bathing suit myself. I couldn’t blame her for being underwhelmed.

In the end, we struck a reluctant compromise: she could wear the suit her father bought if she wore a baby tee over the top. She wasn’t in love with the idea, but ultimately everyone was happy. She got to go to Six Flags and I had the peace of mind that my child’s body wasn’t making some trifling old man hot.

Do you see anything wrong with young girls wearing two-piece bathing suits?


Image via Paul Keller/Flickr