Should you let your kids dress themselves -- for school or otherwise? To me, the answer to this one is, "Why wouldn't you?" If they're old enough to have an opinion, they're old enough to choose their look.
Of course, letting my kids pick their outfits is pretty easy for me -- one child chooses clothes based on how they feel and what picture is on the front while the other wears a uniform to school nine months out of the year, so her choices are limited. When she can choose her own, she's old enough to ask if it's short or long sleeve weather and choose (mostly) accordingly.
After spending much of my teen years arguing with my mother about what was OK for me to wear ("You cannot wear that much black! What is wrong with you?"), I vowed when I had kids of my own to Just Not Care as long as they were weather-appropriate, acceptable for the occasion (no flip-flops to a nice dinner out), and not too revealing.
Prevailing parental wisdom on the web seems to back me up. There are pages and pages of reasons why it's a good idea. CafeMoms favor letting kids choose their own outfits, too. Letting kids choose their own clothes helps foster independence, it helps kids gain a sense of their own style, and allows them to learn how to match colors and patterns and to learn from mistakes ... like maybe wearing ankle socks and no tights on a 20-degree day was not the best idea.
Of course, that means you have to let them look silly in public sometimes, and that's never easy. Right now my son insists on wearing his sister's old ladybug rain boots everywhere, and we haven't had a day below 90 yet this month (this past winter, it was snow boots all the time ... and fairy wings). My daughter will sometimes come downstairs in outfits of such tragic wrongness I have to bite back the laughter -- think stripes and plaids in colors that don't even nudge close to matching each other. But honestly, I hardly care what I look like when we are out and about, so why should I agonize over them?
And, they're kids. It's cute. A 3-year-old boy can totally pull off the ladybug boots, and a 6-year-old girl can rock the mismatched patterns. Now if they're 30 and still doing it ...
Do you encourage your kids to dress themselves? Why or why not?
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Comments 21
I think that as long as it doesn't pose any kind of health or safety risk, and it's not totally inappropriate (like if you were going to a funeral or something), let them play. Our ideas of 'appropriate' clothes are so socially constructed anyway. And the big fashion icons are people who take risks and don't follow the crowd, not people who follow the 'rules' to the letter (if fashion is a priority at all).
I remember one episode of Supernanny where the mom was obsessed with her 3 litle girls all wearing "matching" outfits and perfect matching hairstyles every single day. She'd spend like two hours in the morning fighting with her young daughters about it. And God FORBID if Daddy offered to help! "That doesn't match!" Mom would wail as she hyperventilated. By the end of th show she was a little better about it, but she still practically broke out in hives if her daughters' outfits didn't match perfectly.
Teenagerhood is gonna be fuuuuuuun for her. There are just so many battles not worth fighting. Clothes are often one of them. My mom had some definite boundaries for me, but nothing unreasonable. I was expected to dress appropriately in certain venues and I knew it but otherwise, she didn't really care.
And just think of the pictures you can use to embarass them as teenagers! Oh, you think you got style huh? Well, your three year old self begs to differ...go change!
I have no problems with kids dressing themselves, as long as we're not going anywhere too important, lol.
At 2 1/2yrs old I already let my daughter help choose her clothes. She's at the age where she's becoming more independent so if wearing one thing will make her happy, why not?!
Oh, god, I hate it when my daughter dresses herself. She has this ability to pick the ONE outfit that I really don't want her to pick, like the shirt with the big stain, or the ONE frilly dress that she owns for going to play at the park or something. I swear she does it just to irritate me. And I have ZERO veto ability- if I say one negative thing about what she's chosen (not to be mean, but to try to convince her that pants aren't for 100 degree weather for instance), a meltdown ensues. Hence, I usually try to pick her clothes out for her. Even giving her choice A or choice B doens't work.
We had an embarrassing issue at preschool the other day. We had a knock down, drag out war over her wearing a long-sleeved Valentine's day dress to school. I finally admitted defeat (FINE! Wear that! You'll burn up and I hope you're happy!! And yes, I know I was acting like a kid- I KNOW) and let her wear it, figuring natural consequences would teach her not to do that again. But no. She didn't make the connection, or at least pretended not to be hot, and her preschool teachers looked at me like I was the WORST parent EVER for dressing my kid in long sleeves. Oh well. Live and learn!
Yes. I always let my boys decide what they wanted to wear. They had "Sunday" clothes and "school" clothes and "play" clothes. I think letting them pick out what they want to wear is a right for them. Who wants to wear what someone else tells them to wear? Kids are just little people. Pick your battles very carefully. Something as simple as clothing is silly to fight over in the grand scheme of things.
I let my kids wear whatever they want (weather appropriate). Orange pink and blue? no problem. :) My MIL HATES having a granddaughter that doesnt match though, and we really butt heads over it when she's visiting. Maybe next time I'll print out this article and leave it in the guest room. ha!