5 Incredibly Offensive Kid Shirts That Fuel Sibling Rivalry

Jeanne Sager

Sister for SaleOK, parents, it's time to clear something up. See, I have just one kid, and so my experiences with real honest to goodness sibling rivalry are but a dim memory from my own childhood. But I hear it's the worst. Worse even than the infernal toddler whine, and I KNOW whining.

So parents, what's the deal? Every time I turn around, your little darlings are walking by me sporting a t-shirt with some trash talk about their brother or sister written across their chest. Literally ... written across the chest. And we all point and laugh and have a jolly good time. Until Junior smacks Sally across the ear, and you start yelling "Be nice to your sister," and look to the rest of us for sympathy. You sooooo get where I'm going with this, don't you? These sibling rivalry t-shirts can be funny ... but you might want to think about who we're laughing at. Just take a gander:

Sister for Sale -- Cheap (CafePress; $20) -- Maybe if it didn't have the word "cheap" at the end, this whole thing would feel less tawdry. But might I remind you that's YOUR DAUGHTER that's being referred to?

Dumb Big Brother Shirt

This Is My Dumb Big Brother Shirt; I'd Rather Have a Puppy (CafePress; $20) -- Well, tell us how he really feels. Nothing says "I haven't bothered to pay any attention to my older child since I gave birth" quite like this shirt.

Things Haven't Been the Same

Things Haven't Been the Same Since That House Fell on My Sister (NewEgg; $10.72) -- Sly Wizard of Oz reference aside, it's funny how parents tell their kids NOT to beat on their sister ... then dress them in clothing that speaks to horrible acts of violence.

She may suck

She May Suck, But I Still Support My Sister's Soccer Career (Zazzle; $26.95) -- How sweet! Passive-aggressive natures sprout early in your family! Perhaps a better slogan would be, "I could be home devising ways to put tarantulas in my sister's bed without getting caught, but instead I'm freezing my @ss off on the sidelines at her stupid soccer games while my parents ignore me and let me use words like @ss and suck even though I'm only 6?" No? OK then.

I'm the Good One

I'm the Good One; My Brother's the Brat (T-Shirt Hub; $14.95) -- Just a reminder, Mom and Dad, you have now marked your kids for life as "the good one" and "the brat." You might as well start setting money aside for therapy now. Place a few photos of your child IN this shirt in the coin jar; the evidence will save him some time in those early probative sessions.

I'll admit there are some that can be funny. And the "I'm the big brother" or "I'm the little sister" shirts just make me grin. But 99 percent make me cringe.

How about you? Do you buy these sibling rivalry t-shirts? Have you seen any that are really well done?


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