10 Things You DON'T Want Your Kid to Bring for Show & Tell

Ah, Show & Tell. I remember the hamsters, pencil erasers, and Lisa Frank stickers my fellow elementary students brought in on their day ever so fondly. But for one family in the UK, Show & Tell got them arrested.

A 10-year-old girl in the UK brought in a bag of what she thought was candy for Show & Tell and the small bag of cocaine inside the bag got her dad arrested. It turns out he is a dealer and was using those bags to disguise his stash. Oops. The girl has now been sent to live with her mother.

And even though I am disgusted by a dad who would endanger his child that way, I also kind of feel for him. After all, how many of us have embarrassing things that could be taken from our houses and brought in to school? Here are 10:

  1. Porn: Come on, admit it. You or your husband has a magazine or a book or a video or a DVD that you wouldn't want your child bringing to school. I brought a stack of my dad's Playboy magazines to school for Show & Tell, and boy was that humiliating for him.
  2. Weapons: Hide your guns or hunting knives because you really don't want to be explaining that to a teacher.
  3. Vibrator: Your purple, rabbit-faced vibrator is very appealing to your 10-year-old. Hide it well or you will have to retrieve the thing from her red-faced teacher.
  4. Romance novels: None of us wants to admit we read bad literature. Least of all to a teacher!
  5. Illegal monkeys: Many kids like to bring their hamster or kitten in for Show & Tell, but if you have an illegally smuggled monkey or exotic bird, you will probably want to hide it from junior so he doesn't go trotting off to school and get you indicted.
  6. Handcuffs: They may be sexy in the bedroom, but unless you're a cop, there is only one reason to own handcuffs. And it's nothing you want to talk to their teacher about.
  7. Extensive Dora collection: No one wants to admit that they use TV as a babysitter, so when your kid brings out the 250 DVDs you own, it tells the school a little something about your parenting skills.
  8. Giant dead roach collection: You don't live in squalor, but your child's teacher won't know that when your child brings in a Styrofoam block full of dead roaches she found in your house. Yuck. Yuck. And yuck!
  9. Adult video games: You know you would never let your child play that zombie/war/drug-dealing video game. But does your kid's teacher know that when he brings it in?
  10. Mommy's vodka: "This is how my mommy gets through the day," Junior tells his class.

What are some embarrassing things your kids could bring?



Image via The.Comedian/Flickr

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