Moms, gather round. It's time to crown a new hero in the mom world. Her name is Denise Keller, and she is the mom at the heart of a class action lawsuit against the scourge of parents everywhere: Chuck E. Cheese.
The mom of two claims that the ratholes popular party spots for tots are operating illegal gambling businesses with most of the games inside almost impossible to win -- whether you're 4 or 44. Says the lawsuit:
Many games found at Chuck E. Cheese’s’s restaurants are illegal gambling devices that require little or no skill and are predominantly games of chance, much like a roulette wheel.
She's got a point. When the only thing louder than the cacophony of ringing and clanging from the games and the shrieking of other kids is your own little darling crying hysterically because he/she can't win one darn thing, all YOU want to do is play a stupid game and get a few tickets so you can let your kid pick up their piece of plastic junk and you can get yourself to somewhere more pleasant, somewhere with wine. But when the games are so flipping difficult even YOU, with decades on the little monkeys, can't manage to get the ball in the hole, you know something is wrong.
But let's say she's wrong. That the games aren't rigged. That it's just your klutzy fingers, not some ultimate conspiracy. I'm going to go out on a limb and bet that there's a whole cluster of parents like me, parents who don't even care that Keller's lawsuit is kind of dumb, that it's probably just another frivolous lawsuit clogging up the courts, that some people will find cause to cast Keller's move as everything that is wrong with America.
We are the parents who won't set foot in Chuck E. Cheese without half a bag on. Parents who plead and cajole when a birthday party invite comes in, offering the kid a boat, a house, anything but a trip to the one place guaranteed to make our blood pressure shoot higher than even our mother-in-law can push it. Keller is my hero because she's willing to take on an American institution that is destroying parents' souls, one piece of cardboard with oily cheese at a time.
So tell me, is Keller a hero or everything that's wrong with America? Really?
Image via meddygarnet/Flickr