Don't Hate Me for Being a Mom on Facebook

Jeanne Sager

computer keyboardWell, you had to know sooner or later. Mom, your Facebook friends hate you. No, really. If the knowledge that someone was flagging our breastfeeding photos wasn't enough of a clue that there was a jerk in our midst, a few hundred women just let the cat out of the bag.

In a survey by daily deal site Eversave, 57 percent of women said they have a "proud mom" friend on Facebook who annoys the pants off of them. Before you run off crying, a word. Buck up mom; this isn't high school. That's their problem, not ours.

I almost get where these people are coming from. Almost. We all have the person we unfriended because their posts were driving you up the flipping wall. Maybe they were seriously on the other side of the political coin, and couldn't stop talking about it. Maybe they said some hurtful things. Maybe you unfriended them in real life and finally got around to dropping them off your Facebook page.

But that's where I diverge from the passive aggressive "oooh, I'm going to whine that she's too into her kids" survey takers. They piss and moan that moms talk about their kids too much. I unfriend and keep treating my Facebook like it's supposed to be: a reflection of me.

I try to shy away from being an "oversharer." Some kids' funny just does not translate to the interwebs. I get it. But I can't go in that other "whitewash" the kid out of my life Facebook direction. This is the person I bathe and read bedtime stories to, the person I get off the bus and do homework with. I do everything in my power to spend as much time with her as possible as elementary school offers her a more active social life than my own. She doesn't define me. But she certainly spends more time with me than any other person in my life at the moment, the husband included. And you friended me to find out about my life, correct?

So, sometimes my friends get goofy comments on parenting -- a la this gem from the other night: "Board games to play with the fam: $20. Glass of wine: $4. Watching husband and daughter BOTH dance her hip hop routine to Justin Bieber: PRICELESS." A little bit of family. A little bit of me. It's a perfect summation of an evening chez Sager. It got 14 likes, including four people who are child-free. I'm not bragging. But if you found it annoying or bothersome, you better not ask me out for lunch anytime soon. You're going to get a lot more just like it.

The problem here isn't with "proud moms" but with Facebook "friendship." When I meet my child-free best friend from high school for lunch, I want to hear about her trip to Florida for spring break, about how she and her husband are talking about adopting a new puppy. About all her kid-free stuff that makes up who she is. And she wants to hear about my kid. It's part of the give and take of friendship, and I love that Facebook fills in the gaps that keep us apart for months at a time.

If you can't apply that same rubric to your Facebook "friends," to put it bluntly: why the hell are you friends with them? You can hate me for talking about my kid, or you can unfriend me. Your call.


Image via Marcie Casas/Flickr

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