10 Annoying Kid Phrases I'd Like to Ban Forever

Being a Mom 164

None of my children were early talkers. I waited and waited and waited to hear those precious first words come out of their sweet lips, and they were just as wondrous as I'd hope they'd be. I love when young kids mispronounce words and learn to string sentences together. So stinking cute and such a joy to witness. It's all so magical.

However, there are some things I'd be happy never, ever to hear again ... things like these:

1. "I wet myself." Said inevitably the very night I have changed the sheets.

2. "It wasn't me!" preceded by a loud bang. Never a good sign.

3. "MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY! MOMMY!" Amazing how a word that once sounded so beautiful can become the most annoying thing ever when it's yelled seven times in a row.

4. "My tummy hurts." Either a sign of upcoming vomit or diarrhea. Two banes of my existence.

5. "Don't be mad, but ..." A pretty sure sign that I will in fact be mad.

6.  Why. Repeated with why. Followed by why. Sometimes I just don't know!

7. "My head is itchy." No. Not lice. For the love of God, not lice. Anything but lice.

8. "I have to go potty." Said on the highway, in a snow suit, or in the middle of a movie. Always.

9. "But so and so's parents let them!" Remind me why I'm supposed to care about so and so? Because I don't.

10. "I'm telling the truth!" While turning bright red and stuttering. I know you way better than that, kid. Just stop.

 

What about you? What's your least favorite thing to hear?

 

Image via Jill Smokler