Nobody wants their children to repeat their mistakes and we all wish we could issue our children a book with all the things we did wrong and all the things they shouldn't try. Unfortunately, that isn't a reality. And one 29-year-old in the UK knows just how true that is. She is going to be a grandmother before she is even 30.
Kelly John is set to become Britain's youngest grandmother at 29. She said it was her worst nightmare come true when she found out her 14-year-old daughter was pregnant. She said she hoped her daughter Tia wouldn't repeat her mistake (don't we all), but she did and the grandmother is now vowing to help her daughter in every way she can.
Obviously, this is beyond disappointing, but there is a silver lining ...
John's great-great grandmother is still alive at 92 and, therefore, six generations of this family will be able to meet. How many people can say that?
Maybe it's because I lost my mother when she was only 45 and my children will never meet her, but I think that is a pretty significant upside to the less happy parts of this story. Of course, having a baby at 14 isn't going to be easy.
At 14, I was still playing with Barbies (seriously) and hadn't even really dated a boy, so I was pretty far from pregnant and with good reason. When I was pregnant with my daughter (at 28), I was reasonably ready. But I have plenty of other bad habits I see my daughter emulating already. She screams like me and is impatient. She has a low tolerance for waiting in lines and for not getting her way.
I always cringe when I see her behave like that and I know it's my fault, but try as I might to be better, I have moments of weakness and I share those with my daughter. We all copy our parents. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective), Tia will likely have a very hard time keeping her own child from also becoming a teen parent.
Children see us and they want to be us, for better or worse. All you can do is be open, talk about your mistakes, and help children set goals for themselves. And also: teach them about birth control!
Do you think this was inevitable?
Image via Larry Johnson/Flickr
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Comments 234
teens do what they want even when they know how hard things were/ar efor their moms
my friends daughter was 13 and having sex and she knew how much her mom struggled to raise her, but it is knid of sad that this happend maybe the 14 year old will give the baby up and get an education and job and then have children when she is in her 20's and 30's
Wow babygirl - I'm impressed that you were able to stand up and do what you believed in at such a young age. That must have been really hard. I think your story might be really interesting and inspiring to hear about. So many people feel pressured to have abortions because everyone around them thinks its the right thing to do. I just wanted to say something to you. I don't really know what but that I admire your character.
I'm sure you'll do a great job raising your daughter even though those teen years can be very difficult you sound as if you are realistic as well as strong. My children are older (that's my 25 yr old daughter in my pic with my new first grandbaby) and I'll tell you this - for them to always feel like they can be safe to be open with you about things makes a big difference.
One of my aunts had a baby at 14. That kid had a baby at 14. My grandma (that aunt's mom) became a great-grandma at 55. She's 67 now. I've got no doubt she'll meet one of her great-great-grandkids, likely within a few years (having babies is seen as a welfare-meal-ticket and an excuse to not work among my loser-relatives).