Nobody wants their children to repeat their mistakes and we all wish we could issue our children a book with all the things we did wrong and all the things they shouldn't try. Unfortunately, that isn't a reality. And one 29-year-old in the UK knows just how true that is. She is going to be a grandmother before she is even 30.
Kelly John is set to become Britain's youngest grandmother at 29. She said it was her worst nightmare come true when she found out her 14-year-old daughter was pregnant. She said she hoped her daughter Tia wouldn't repeat her mistake (don't we all), but she did and the grandmother is now vowing to help her daughter in every way she can.
Obviously, this is beyond disappointing, but there is a silver lining ...
John's great-great grandmother is still alive at 92 and, therefore, six generations of this family will be able to meet. How many people can say that?
Maybe it's because I lost my mother when she was only 45 and my children will never meet her, but I think that is a pretty significant upside to the less happy parts of this story. Of course, having a baby at 14 isn't going to be easy.
At 14, I was still playing with Barbies (seriously) and hadn't even really dated a boy, so I was pretty far from pregnant and with good reason. When I was pregnant with my daughter (at 28), I was reasonably ready. But I have plenty of other bad habits I see my daughter emulating already. She screams like me and is impatient. She has a low tolerance for waiting in lines and for not getting her way.
I always cringe when I see her behave like that and I know it's my fault, but try as I might to be better, I have moments of weakness and I share those with my daughter. We all copy our parents. Unfortunately (or fortunately, depending on your perspective), Tia will likely have a very hard time keeping her own child from also becoming a teen parent.
Children see us and they want to be us, for better or worse. All you can do is be open, talk about your mistakes, and help children set goals for themselves. And also: teach them about birth control!
Do you think this was inevitable?
Image via Larry Johnson/Flickr
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Comments 234
The title alone made me sign up so that I could comment. Why would the 29 year old grandma have it coming? Does this mean that young mother's children have less of a chance to lead successful lives and that they do not have potential to exceed their parent's mistakes. And if bringing this child into the world is considered a "mistake" wouldnt that push her/him more in the direction of repeating these mistakes??
Honestly, I don't think it has anything to do with her mother having been a teen mom and I don't think we have enough information to judge whether it was a lack of education.
You can tell a teenager where babies come from, how to avoid having babies before they're ready. You can tell them your own sad, difficult story. If the kid is going to have sex, that's it, end of story. It seems really awful to blame the mother for the girl's actions. I mean, would you want the world blaming you if your girl came home pregnant at 14 or even an older teen?
My kids might be little yet but they'll be educated when the time comes... And I'll know that I did my best by them. Their choices are their own. I can't be with them every second of every day. We just give them the best information we can and hope they make good choices with that information!
I'm really disgusted by the suggestion that a girl should have an abortion.. It's not that baby's fault. I think the best thing to do in this case is exactly what they're doing: Having a baby and making the best of a potentially unpleasant situation. It's too late to tell the girl about sex... Now it's time to tell her how to be a good mother.
My mom thought it was bad to be a grandmother at 45. Anyway.. There's one good thing about this in favor of the grandma - how many grandmas do you know who look like that?