Church Lets Mean Mommies Slide

Sasha Brown-Worsham

When mommy blogger Nerdy Apple Bottom wrote last fall about her son wanting to dress as Daphne from Scooby Doo, she never expected it to start such a firestorm. The post went viral and the 5-year-old boy and his mother were featured everywhere. But the whole incident started at a church preschool. And now the church is trying to make her apologize.

Some mothers at the church disapproved of her son's choice of costume and told her so. She fought back with the blog post and they told the church. Now the saga continues:

I was offered 4 steps to restore my relationships with Moms ABC:

  1. Write Moms ABC an apology with an example of how to word it.
  2. Take down the Halloween post.
  3. No longer write or speak of these women regarding my “accusations.”
  4. Consider taking the entire blog down.

It would be one thing if those moms were simply asking questions, but they weren't. According to Nerdy, those women acted like mean girls straight out of seventh grade. In her words:

Two mothers went wide-eyed and made faces as if they smelled decomp. And I realize that my son is seeing the same thing I am. So I say, “Doesn’t he look great?” And Mom A says in disgust, “Did he ask to be that?!” I say that he sure did as Halloween is the time of year that you can be whatever it is that you want to be. They continue with their nosy, probing questions as to how that was an option and didn’t I try to talk him out of it. Mom B mostly just stood there in shock and dismay. And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in, and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts. And they were that I should never have ‘allowed’ this and thank God it wasn’t next year when he was in Kindergarten since I would have had to put my foot down and ‘forbidden’ it.

Do those sound like women who deserve apologies? It's an interesting thing to be a writer and have a platform. In this case, these women might have said things they wouldn't have wanted to say on a public stage, but once they were looking at their words and actions in front of them, they realized how ugly they were.

But rather than apologize, they are indignant, insisting that Nerdy is a liar or that she is wrong by sharing her story. She isn't.

For an hour and a half he spoke to me as if this was my fault, that I had misconstrued what was said that morning in front of my son, that I “had taken offense where none was intended.” I told him that the comments those mothers made that morning were judgmental and offensive. He continued to accuse me of libel and slander, told me I didn’t have a “free ride to talk about others,” and that I needed to apologize and reconcile.

Hate needs to be exposed. Always. It needs to be exposed as publicly as possible. Those mothers absolutely should have been ashamed of the way they acted. Could Nerdy have taken a more private approach and found them in order to discuss it? Sure. But it wouldn't have been nearly as effective.

That hatred is the kind of thing people think they can laugh about in private, but in public they pretend to be tolerant. Sorry, but you're getting called out, mean moms. And mean church, too.

So very, very wrong. The only people who should apologize are those mean moms.

Do you think she needs to apologize?

Image via studiostoer/Flickr


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