Breastfeeding is one of the most amazing gifts a mom can give to her child, and nothing in the world is comparable to the feeling of putting a new baby to the breast and giving him or her something that only you (mama) can make. We are encouraged (some might say too strongly) to breastfeed our children for at least six months, up to a year if you can, but at a certain point, the world starts to look at you a bit differently.
What was once "wonderful" becomes "icky and weird." And suddenly you're getting looks and groans. "If he can ask for it, he probably shouldn't get it," they will tell you. And I should know. I nursed until my son was 26 months old, and boy, did I hear it.
I'm an extended breastfeeder and loved the boosted immunity, relaxation, and bond continued nursing gave my son. So why does this story out of England freak me out a little?
Amanda Hurst, a mother of two in the U.K., is still nursing her son (and now her infant) who is now 6 years old. She sees no problem with it, but the blogosphere (and probably people in general) see her as some kind of circus freak show, a person to be pitied and groaned over.
Of course, Hurst says otherwise:
Listen to Amanda and it seems the only negative reaction she has had was a few weeks ago in a shop when a sales assistant asked her to feed baby William next door. "He meant in the toilets," says Amanda. "I said to him: 'Would you eat your dinner in the toilet?”’
It's an interesting concept and as someone who was willing to go to 3, but weaned because I had a long trip away planned, I see nothing wrong with waiting to let the child decide when it's time to wean.
On the other hand, aesthetically, it makes me uncomfortable. A child old enough to be in the first grade and eat anything he wants also suckling mom may seem intellectually acceptable, but from a visceral perspective, it's a bit creepy and most definitely not something I would be willing to do in my family. Like I said, 3 was my maximum age.
That said, that rule isn't for everyone and I can remember how upsetting it was to get judged for nursing my 2-year-old. I can only imagine what it would feel like had he been 6. I vehemently disagree with the notion that there would be long-term repercussions from having memories of nursing. As a person who nursed my baby for an extended period of time, I know how nice it is for both mom and child while both still want the unique relationship.
My visceral (and visual) instinct is to say it's wrong, but the reality is there is no basis for that opinion other than just a general sense of "ickiness," which quite frankly, is hypocritical given I'm sure many people judged me for nursed "too long."
Bottom line: live and let live. This is the experience of one family in one part of the world and it works for them. There is no indication that this is anything other than a comfort for her young son, so why should it be for us to say how long is too long? And if you're grossed out by it, just look the other way, don't read the article, and most of all, mind your own business.
What do you think of extended breastfeeding?
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Comments 103
much much better post about this issue!!!!
at sixteen months, I'm already a little freaked out.
I wonder... if the extended breastfeeding is to provide the nutrients that a child needs, why can't the mother just pump and avoid the controversy altogether? You wouldn't had a 6-year-old a bottle to drink out of, would you? Then why does he/she have to suck the milk from the mother's breast?
the longest I have gone was 2 1/2yrs and then I weaned because I was pregnant and the nipple sensitivity made me really not like nursing. So I'm for extended or rather full term breastfeeding.
On another note, someone mentioned on another post yesterday that the boy had actually already weaned years before and then initiated breastfeeding again after the new baby was born. I see more issue in that than in the whole part about "extended" breastfeeding. I'm not sure if it's an effective way to deal with jealousy, but to each his own. Every parent knows their own child best.
The original article makes it very clear she did not wean the child. She stopped one night, the next morning told him he was too old, talked to her husband, and he said "why stop." He was NEVER fully weaned. It was a very short term period.
I have to agree with the article here! In theory I think it is GREAT, however it also creeps me out a bit. :D And that is probably majorly due to our society. If the average age worldwide for weaning is between 2-7 then it isn't as odd as we seem to think. Especially when you figure in all the American moms who breastfeed for only a month or so! We must bring the averages down a little bit.
I nursed for two years, and that was enough for me, personally. If other people want to do it for longer, and in the privacy of their home, or at least covered up, then go for it.
No, it's not "absurd and ignorant", it's an honest question. Is that 6 year old still eating mashed up food? Sucking on a pacifier? Drinking Pepsi from a bottle with a nipple? No. Then why should he or she still be suckling from mommy's breast?
Has anyone thought of it from the kid's point of view? We're talking about FIRST GRADERS, here. If there is solid, scientific evidence for continuing the consumption of breast milk for 2 years, 6 years, 10 years, whatever, that's fine. Pump and serve. Make it into ice cream for all I care.
But at that age, those kids are talking with their friends. My 7 year old is freakish about what color his sled is - "the boys will make fun of me because it's purple, and they say that's a girly color." We can argue all day long about whether purple is "girly" or not, whether that's a proper PC view to have, or whatever, but at the end of the day, kids rarely keep secrets from one another, and can be brutal. If they're going to tease about the 'girly' color of a sled, what is going to happen to that 6 year old who goes to school and says that he gets his milk from Mommy's Boobie?
And why would it be insulting and absurd to offer a simple solution like pumping?
I'm in much the same position as you, OP. I did extended bf'ing with my kids... my youngest one didn't wean until around the time she turned three. And I know that some people really take issue with that- heck, I've heard people say how they think once a baby has teeth they are too old- even though some babies get teeth at four or five months. The thought of nursing a six year old doesn't appeal to me in the slightest... but I know some thought that about me nursing my toddlers, and frankly it was none of their business. Which makes this none of mine!
up to a year is essential...but why after...food has all the nutrients..and there are other ways to bond and nurture a child...right? I dont disagree, but I dont find it necessary. 8-) especially a 6 year old!~