A Skinny, Freaky Makeover for Minnie Mouse

Andrew Dalton
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Minnie Mouse -- as anyone who's taken a recent trip to Disneyland and especially through her twee little house in Toon Town can tell you -- is a weird relic. Like Betty Boop without the sex. Come on, can you describe a single personality trait she has? Girlie. That's about it. 

But apparently, like all of the Disney canon, we're stuck with her. So if you wanted to modernize her, what would you do? Make her look a whole lot more like Olive Oyl? That's what they've done for the reboot she's gotten for a new collection -- Minnie Muse -- at Forever 21. As Sadie Stein at Jezebel describes it:

What, you wonder, was wrong with the old Minnie Mouse? Apparently about 60 pounds and nine inches. She's been stretched and put on the Zone. Because, you see, she's now a well-traveled sophisticate.

Yeah, well, I guess we could all use a good week on the stretching rack when we get older.

Here's how the press release for the new collection describes her:

The upcoming collection follows Minnie Mouse shopping in fashion capitals London, Paris, and Tokyo in preparation for her line. Disney Consumer Products designed the special Minnie Mouse character art and style guide especially for modern fashionistas, just like Forever 21's customers. The style is fresh and portrays Minnie Mouse in a whole new way -- leggy, modern, and glamorous.

Gotta love the "leggy." She certainly is that. She could sit straddling Dumbo's mama and touch her feet underneath. But is "leggy" modern and glamorous? I know models still remain super-tall but it seems leggy is about as modern as the Rockettes. "Leg men" shouting "Yowza!" at the "great gams" and "nice wheels" is about as old-timey as it gets. It's like a pie in the face or slipping on a banana peel.

Of course, like most of the new marketing ideas that horrify me, it'll probably go over huge. They did sex her up finally -- they gave her the Betty Boop she was lacking and, for some bizarre reason, Betty is still all over license plate frames. And there have got to be those who think Barbie and her body are just a little too grim and realistic.

And the clothes? "Sequined statement pieces, amazing accessories, and must-have tees." Katie at Jezebel calls it "2% borderline acceptable and 98% terrible." I'm sure my kid will be asking for it soon.

What do you think of Minnie's new look?


Image via Forever 21

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