Mall Santas can be a mixed bag.
There is a mall near my house where the Santa has a real beard (!) and belly and clearly lives the part all yearlong. He is professional and the photos come out great. He is a good one.
Ninety percent of the other ones? Are scary. Like this mall Santa. Ever seen the movie Bad Santa? This guy makes Billy Bob Thornton look positively nice.
Here's the thing: He is a guy in a red suit, wearing a sweaty fake beard who gets paid to hold our children.
It's creepy and if he were dressed as anything but that jolly guy we all love, you would agree. If he were a clown, for instance? He'd be banned from the mall!
Here is a video showing all scared moms' worst mall Santa fears:
Here are 7 reasons (beyond public drunkenness) to skip the mall Santa:
- He costs too much: Seriously, $10 to sit on Santa's lap? And then $35 for the CD? No thanks!
- He is creepy: See above reasons.
- There is a line: An hour to see Santa while being kicked by random children isn't holiday spirit, it's public torture.
- He scares kids: How many screaming toddlers have you seen on Santa's lap? 'Nuff said.
- He is germy: How many snotty kids have sat on his lap? Do you want your kids getting those germs?
- He encourages the "gimmes": Did your kid have a list of 50 things he wanted before Santa? Nope? Skip him!
- He flirts with the elves: I made this one up. But he probably does.
OK, so I'm totally taking my kids to see the good mall Santa. If you still want the photos, I suggest finding a good one, too.
Are you taking your kids to see Santa?
Image via YouTube