Nerdy Apple Bottom is a blogger whose son dressed like a Scooby Doo character for Halloween, but he didn't go as Scrappy or Scooby or even Shaggy. Nope. Her son went as Daphne.
And the mocking that followed was a subject of her November 2 blog post, My Son Is Gay. The title belies what the author really feels -- that wearing pink doesn't make a child gay.
Like most sane, rational good parents, the blogger wants to make her son happy. She wants to help her son express himself and she wants him to be allowed to make his own decisions.
But it was the other mothers in her son's school that really gave her pause:
And then Mom C approaches. She had been in the main room, saw us walk in, and followed us down the hall to let me know her thoughts. And they were that I should never have ‘allowed’ this and thank God it wasn’t next year when he was in Kindergarten since I would have had to put my foot down and ‘forbidden’ it. To which I calmly replied that I would do no such thing and couldn’t imagine what she was talking about. She continued on and on about how mean children could be and how he would be ridiculed. My response to that: The only people that seem to have a problem with it is their mothers.
It wasn't the 5-year-olds who made that boy embarrassed to get out of his car, but the mothers.
And the blogger was furious:
If you think that me allowing my son to be a female character for Halloween is somehow going to ‘make’ him gay then you are an idiot. Firstly, what a ridiculous concept. Secondly, if my son is gay, OK. I will love him no less. Thirdly, I am not worried that your son will grow up to be an actual ninja so back off.
The idea that pink clothing or a fondness for fairies or a desire to wear jewelery makes a boy gay is, simply put, incredibly stupid.
Want to know what makes a person gay or bi? Sexual interest in the same sex. It's something any one of our children might have. Yes, even the ones dressed like firemen. And so what?
There are some gay boys. There are also some gay girls. And some straight boys who like tutus and some straight girls who like fire engines. But then nobody gets upset about the girl in the fireman outfit. They think it's cute. But the boy in the tutu? Hilarious.
A few months ago, a woman I know told me that her brother used to like to wear pink when he was a toddler. He would try on her princess dresses and dance around. "Don't tell anyone," she told me. Well, I'm not mentioning her name, but I'm mentioning the story because her brother grew up to be very straight, but if anyone knew that he used to like tutus ... the shame!
Come on now. Aren't we past this?
I guess we aren't. And that fact makes me profoundly sad for my little boy. And while, yes, my son is obsessed by trucks and cars and backhoes and excavators, he's also happy to watch Tinkerbell with his sister or try on her tiara.
Why is that so wrong? I have no idea what my son's sexuality will be (he's 2), but I don't care much. I can honestly say I will love him exactly the same, straight or gay. I honestly don't care. Is he healthy? Happy? Strong? These are the things that matter.
The sex of the person he chooses to marry? Doesn't.
I say rather than letting these stupid thoughts permeate, we ought to fight against them, with blog posts like these and loud voices screaming this is really not OK. The double standards are just not OK.
Do you think dressing "like a girl" makes a boy gay?
Image via Facebook