That's what an anonymous mom wants to know. Her sexually-active 16-year-old has an 18-year-old boyfriend coming home from college for the holidays (whom she regularly visits on weekends)--and her daughter wants him to stay at their place, in her daughter's room!
You might find you have a gut reaction to this question, but before you swear that you know what you'd say, read the responses of a few other CafeMoms. Very interesting...
"I say let him stay. My parents were always willing to let our friends, and even our boyfriends stay with us. Usually not in our bedrooms, but if your daughter has been honest enough with you to tell you they are sexually active, than why not? Two of my sisters' boyfriends lived with us while I was growing up, and my mom and dad let my now husband spend several nights with me. I think it's great that you have a good relationship with your daughter, and her boyfriend," says my2.5boys.
"If I were in your shoes, he'd be sleeping on the couch. Point Blank,"says LyTe684.
"When I was her age
I had a boyfriend and was in the same situation. My
mother allowed him to stay at the house, but he could not sleep in my
room. There were a couple of reasons for this. First I had younger
brother and sisters and she did not want them seeing this. Second,
although she knew I was sexually active she did not believe
that she had to allow it under her roof. It was her house and she had
I was thankful for that. I now know that when I am faced with this issue I will do the same as my mother. I think it is about respect and we respected my mother enough to honor her rules," says cornflakegirl3.
"Unmarried couples don't share a bedroom in my home. That's my rule. If my children decide to become sexually active before getting married, I will be disappointed, but help them get birth control and that sort of thing, because I want them to be safe. However, I'm not going to encourage them to have sex, and I won't allow it under my roof." says degsyuna.
What do you have to say about this one?