Sometimes notes from your child's teacher are so fun to get. You're proud. Your child is proud. You hang it up on the kitchen bulletin board and make sure to call Grandma to share the wonderful things that the note says.
However, there are some notes from the school that you just never want to get, and here are ten such notes.
10 Notes You Don't Want Sent Home From School With Your Child
Dear Parent of [Enter Your Child's Name],
- Be advised. There has been a reported case of H1N1 swine flu in your child's class. (followed by your son telling you his deskmate Timmy was out sick today!)
- Your child has bedbug bites. She's scratching at them all day in class, and we know bedbug bites when we see them.
- We are writing to inform you that your kid's eyesight is so bad it's a wonder she doesn't walk into walls. Get her to an optometrist stat!
- There have been reports of kids of the opposite sex touching one another inappropriately on school grounds and playing games that are sexual in nature behind the gym. Please discuss appropriate and inappropriate touching and acceptable school behavior with your child (and if you haven't had "the talk" yet, it's time).
- Your child has lice. Him and five other kids in the class. You may return when your personal hell at home is over and your kid is nit-free.
- We regret to inform you that your child's teacher will no longer be teaching at our school or in our district. Please make an appointment with the principal for more information.
- You and your husband will need to set up a meeting with the school psychologist. Your son has been telling other children "his daddy is going to kill" them.
- There have been reports of a stranger lurking around school grounds. Don't worry, but please alert your children about "stranger danger."
- Today another child brought a hand gun to school. No one was hurt and the child will no longer be at our school, but we thought you should be made aware. Please don't let your kids have guns.
- Your child has informed us that the smutty language she's been using at school is language "mommy uses all the time." Let's talk.
Don't try to guess which ones I've already gotten. I don't want to relive the pain, okay?
What note have you gotten from school that you wish you hadn't?
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