Try as I might, I haven’t been overly successful with setting boundaries at home, especially when it comes to that door that separates the bathroom from the rest of the house (incidentally, ours doesn’t lock). My two young daughters don't understand that it’s a little weird (and gross and annoying) for them to pop on by at will. I suppose I could install a lock or get very stern with my girls, but I sort of struggle with my identity as a mom. Part of me wants to be loosie-goo and hippie, while my uptight side goes berserk. I’ve put my foot down, so to speak, when I’m on the can -- privacy is a must. However, I still let the little roamers visit during my baths. They are often great company.
In the tubby, I am very much on display. My girls have a lot of questions about the human body, and lately they seem to have focused in on my c-section scar. What do I tell them?
My inner flower-child wants to sing out the straight facts, but is 4 and 6 too young to learn about seven layers of sutras? I’ve been through it twice and I still get squeamish at the thought. I don’t want to sour them to the thought of ever having kids.
One of my friends said her daughter never asked about her scar yet says she doesn't want to have babies because she doesn't want to be cut open. The mom told me: "I told her they usually come out of your vagina, and she laughed and laughed and laughed.”
I know that, for now, I will not use the word scar, which my kids always associate with some kind of injury. Still stumped about what to actually say, I took an informal poll asking other c-section moms what they have said. These days, it’s pretty easy to find loads of women who’ve gone under the knife. Many told me that their kids haven’t asked or that their scars are not visible (lucky!), but my efforts weren’t for nothing. Here are my top 5 responses:
1. ”Some mommies have a special zipper, but only the doctor is allowed to pull it.”
2. “Oh, you don’t have one? I guess you take after your dad.”
3. “Most babies come out through a cool hole in between their mom’s legs, but a few special babies, like you, make their own hole in the tummy.”
4. “Oh, I fell out of a tree when I was little and cut myself. Be very careful when you climb trees.”
5. “It’s a magic portal for special babies. You got to come out of the portal!”
Which is your favorite response? What would you/did you say?