The Real Reason the Lunch Lady Is So Happy?

lunch ladyDear Lunch Lady,

I want to tell you I have a lot of respect for what you do.

You stand in a glorified echo chamber and dole out dishes to whiny brats without blinking an eye. Just half an hour inside the din of Chuck E. Cheese and I'm begging for a wine glass, but you do it all sober. At least I hope you do.

And might I mention you totally rock that hairnet?

So it's with total love that I say this Madam Lunch Lady:


Please, invest in grammar check.

Hey, I know you're not a teacher. And what they pay the cafeteria staff these days doesn't exactly cover all the bills.

But it's pretty cheap.

I dare say it's come along with every word processor I have ever come across.

And it would prevent me from saying no "taco's" this week to my daughter. And no to "sloppy jos." And "grill cheese."

Or explaining what an "ice tea" is for that matter.

We all understand a mistake now and again, Lunch Lady. But when the month's menu reads like a first grader's diary, we start to wonder who takes over your computer while you're out to lunch.

Or what you're doing on your lunch break ... maybe that explains the utter calm in the center of the chaos? Remind me to cross the brownies off my daughter's list as well.

Here's to a month of chicken nuggets and whole milk. They do some body good.

Do you ever feel like taking a red pen to the school lunch menu?


Image via rod_watson/Flickr


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