
When we first told some of our family members that we decided to seek support and services for our child through the school district's special education program (and later, after he actually qualified for the special education program), they were shocked. Shocked that Noah -- sweet, smart, sociable little Noah with all his invisible labels -- qualified in the first place, and that we would actually willingly send our child to public school special ed.
There was a lot of concern over the "labels" in his "permanent files" and teachers "judging" him down the road and pegging him out beforehand as a "problem." Concerns over the "sorts of kids" he'd be calling his peers or if he'd actually be expected to learn anything or "catch up" to the typical students. Who might tease or shun or tell short-bus jokes. My mother-in-law was convinced that having an IEP meant the school district could one day "force" us to put him on Ritalin or other medications because that "totally" happened to a friend of a friend of a friend who homeschools now. It was really kind of sad.
It was fairly easy for me to ignore most of that chatter at the time, and it's even easier now. Noah started his second year of special education preschool this week. His permanent file is full of progress reports and evaluations and additional assessments -- all which label him as an incredibly bright little boy who just needs a few small accommodations, but who has moved forward in leaps and bounds already. One of the bigger concerns for this year is making sure that he's appropriately challenged and not academically bored."He's soooo smart," his teacher gushed at our in-home visit last week.
The school bus arrived at our house and he got on like a seasoned pro. No big deal. After his first day he immediately reported that he only got TWO smiley faces that day instead of THREE (basically marks for good behavior, like transitioning without protest or cleaning up toys), which meant he didn't get his special treat of a Star Wars sticker. He was embarrassed because he ALWAYS got all three smiley faces last year and ALWAYS earned the special treat (at least ... in his mind, though I remember it took him quite a few months before he really "got" the system). But the point was: He remembered, and he already knew exactly what he needed to do the next day, the second day of school, to earn that stinkin' sticker.
He knows where the school library is and can find the gym and the music room and knows what playground he'll get to use as a kindergartner. This year his class will have several chances to eat in the cafeteria and spend time in the big-kid classrooms. We've heard repeatedly that you can also spot the PEP graduates on the first day of kindergarten because they're typically the only ones who aren't crying. He can already write his name and most of his letters. He shocks me every day with the ever-growing list of words he can read on his own. This is special education.
Special education is not what you might think it is. It's not a step down or backwards. It's sideways, a different path, and it might surprise you to realize just how far ahead of the game it can put your child.
Image via Amy Storch
Do Working Moms Have It Easy?
Your Morning Coffee Could Save Your Life
Join the Fight Against Toxic Kids' Products
8 Summery Sweet Popsicles You Can Make at Home
Guy Gets Chest Waxed on National TV (VIDEO)
14 Ways to Be a Happier Mom
How Tarot Cards Cured My Nightmares
Robin Gibbs Dies: 5 Greatest Bee Gees Songs (VIDEOS)
A User's Manual for My Daughter to Remember Me By
Stupid Reason #768 Kids Get Suspended From School (VIDEO)
Mom Confession: I Never Wanted to Be a Mother
Why '50 Shades of Grey' Is a Must-Buy for Every Guy
'What to Expect When You're Expecting' Review (VIDEO)
10 Things a Husband Should Never Say to His Wife
11 Beautifully Painted Pregnant Bellies (PHOTOS)
Raising Digital Kids
Best Father-Daughter Dance Ever!
How Do Airplanes Stay in the Sky? -...
Twilight's Disappointing Sex Scene

Comments (37)
im glad your son is doing well!! we also got those kinds of responses when we were told aiden would need to be in early intervention. i actually met another woman who refused to put her son in the same programs as my son becuase she was afraid it would go on his permenant record and ruin his whole school career. this is also my sons second year and for the one day he attended (since it was in the middle of the week of rosh hashana) he did really well. now i just have to fight them on the bussing which should have been done in august and some other things. i expect this year to go really well like last year. he has done extremly well and loves his new class and new teacher, ot and speech therapist already
Quoting the OP:
Special education is not what you might think it is. It's not a step down or backwards. It's sideways, a different path, and it might surprise you to realize just how far ahead of the game it can put your child.
I completely agree. I am the mother of a daughter with high functioning autism-people get confused when you say "high functioning"-plain n simple-she has speech. But her struggles lie in comprehension and conversational speech-she may be 10 but often understands the world as a child half her age.
Special ed is no longer the stereotype many of us grew up with in the 70's...Schools work hard to intergrating kids into mainstream classes and activities....No longer the room of mystery-"Oh look-it's the Sped class".
My daughter attends classes in both a regular and special ed class (focussing on reading comprehension and math skills in the special ed class)
People not in the know,or those simply brought up to think Spec Ed automatically means "the dumb kids" are so wrong in their thought patterns. Deciding to place a child IS a big decision,but when made is often the best decision,for the child and their education.
Kudos to the OP for realizing special ed is NOT the end of the world,just a different path of learning!!!
I'm so glad your son is doing really well. I was in special ed from 7 to 12 because I had a learing disablity and I still stuggle with learing new things but I don't let it get me down. Now I had a child of my own and my son is 2 1/2 year old and has been going for speech thearpy though early childhood since Feb for his speech delay. He has his review and they told us he needs special ed preschool which me and my husband were fine with because we knew it will help him out now and in the future but we don't know yet if he will always need special ed or will have a learing disablity we will found out as he gets older and when he does we will have him test early not like me I was tested late. I'm so glad my son is going though speech and there a special preschool avaiblty for him that is free because many parent's don't have the options and have to pay for school.
My family and my husband family know about our son's having a speech problem and will be going to a special ed preschool but my mil and fil both don't think there is anything wrong with him and when trying to tell them something they always think he is calling them which he isn't. Both of our parent's support what we are doing for our son but my dad understand more about special ed then my in laws do and that's because I was in special ed and it helped me out alot. I more scared of my son getting teased then fitting in school because kids can be so curl to kids who have special needs and I don't want my son to feel dumb because this kids are making fun of him I want to feel that just cause he has specail needs doens't make him any different then any other kids. My son will start preschool in Dec and I'm so looking forward to him going to school because he is going to get the helps he needs.
Labels are a scary thing......my son gets speech and that was a concern with family members that he would be 'labeled' at such a young age. But you really have to overlook such things and just do whatever is best for your child.
Thank you for bringing this topic up! My daughter who is now 10 yrs old was in need of an IEP and various other modifications from time she was in 1st grade but I let my inlaws and others influence me to stall with this process. Finally I had enough of seeing her struggle and realized this was for her benefit and I don't care if someone (especially hurtful when its a family member) is going to judge her. She is now in 5th grade and her grades have improved completely and she has the confidence she needs to succeed. Her IEP has been in place since 2nd grade. It is not something that holds her back it is simply a "different path" as you said. She learns differently and we have figured out what works best for her. Unfortunately there will always be ignorant people who think it's their job to judge others. Keep doing your best to tune them out and focus on your child!