How Jamie Oliver Slapped That Food Snob Mom Look Off My Face

Sheri Reed

Jamie Oliver kids
Photo from ABC
Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution -- yep, hubs and I are obsessed like the rest of the world. We're longtime followers of Jamie and own most his cookbooks.

Of course, if I'm honest about why I'm watching the show, I think I wanted to watch it just to prove to myself what we've been doing "right" in terms of food choices (hey, mama needs a little "feel good" for herself sometimes!).

How extremely righteous, privileged, and snobby of me, huh?

Well, food snobby as I wanted to think we are, my kids aren't exactly passing Jamie's good nutrition tests either.

We don't do school lunches, we rarely eat fast food, we get a farm box delivered to our house, we buy organic whenever we can, oh, and we only buy our chicken nuggets, mac and cheese, and pizza at Trader Joe's. As parents, I thought we pretty much had this thing tapped -- or surely, we're way ahead of the rest of the world, right?

Well, thanks to Jamie O's show, now I'm pretty sure I can talk myself into believing all kinds of stuff living in my own mind -- because my own 7 year old kid can't identity basic vegetables.

This morning I had Clyde, my 7-year-old, watch Episode #2, the one where Jamie shows some kids how chicken nuggets are made (although he notes that they are NOT made this way here in the U.S.). I just wanted to see how well "trained" my son was -- by me, by society, by TV commercials, and by the beckoning call of the golden arches.

I paused the show right after the part where Jamie food processored chicken bone, blood, and connective tissue into a gooey awful pink mess but right before he asked the kids if they wanted to eat the nuggets once they were all breaded up and pan fried to a golden brown.

Trying not to have any opinions in my voice, I said, "So, would you want to eat that nugget?"

Clyde said, "No!"

Pleased (with myself), I asked him, "Why not?"

He said, "Because he cut the bad chicken and then he mixed it around and then he poured all the bones and the soft stuff and the other stuff and then just used the soft stuff and cut a little piece with a cookie maker and then he cooked it."

"Good. Now let's watch this."

I zoomed ahead to the part where Jamie quizzed the elementary students on vegetables. My son would surely know some of them.

When Jamie held up the tomatoes, I paused the show again.

"What are those?"

Clyde answered, "Potatoes." Just like the little kid who made me and my husband gasp (and tsk tsk) when we watched the night before. Oh dear...

"Potatoes?" I questioned. Soon I realized it was a twist in the vocabulary of a first grader. It seems the word "tomato" doesn't come out a small mouth as easily as "potato." Or at least that's how I consoled myself.

Next Jamie held up cauliflower.

Clyde said, "Lettuce!" Well, at least he knows what lettuce is, right?

Jamie held up beets.

Clyde said, "Onions!" Well, at least we're in the same genre still.

Then the eggplant.


Jamie hinted to the kids, "Egg..."

More silence.

Finally, Jamie held up potatoes.

Clyde said, "I don't know" and then, very pleased with himself, yelled out, along with the kids on TV, as Jamie held up each, "Chicken nuggets! Pizza! French fries!" 

Ugh. Looks like someone's got a lot more schooling to do in her own glass house before throwing any more stones at the ones in West Virginia.

And p.s. I hate tomatoes, cauliflower, beets, and eggplant. There, now I've told you everything you need to know... Tsk tsk on me.

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