15 New Moms Reveal How the Their MILs Went Off the Rails After Becoming Grandmas

Devan McGuinness | Jul 31, 2020 Being a Mom
15 New Moms Reveal How the Their MILs Went Off the Rails After Becoming Grandmas
Image: iStock

grandma holding newborn baby
iStock

Finding out we're pregnant is one of the most exciting times in life -- and it's scary too. Whether it was a happy surprise or a long-planned journey, parenthood changes a person, and that can be intimidating. If we are doing the parenting thing with a partner, we know the relationship is going to change -- some for the best and others with more struggles. It's a whole new adventure to be responsible for a small human when, to be honest, neither parent really knows how to do things.

That's why some of us lean on the support of our mom and our mother-in-law, aka MIL. They've been there and done that. They raised us and our partner, so they're familiar with the whole process and what we're going through. It makes a big difference. Looking to them for guidance and support can make the whole parenting adventure seem so much less scary.

Even though we all hope for the best and hold on to the idea that our MILs will be there for us as we navigate parenthood, not all MILs are made the same. Some are incredible, as if they were our own mom and have the gentlest way to guide us through parenthood. Others, well, they leave us with a WTF face and stories to tell our closest friends.

We've rounded up 15 stories of new moms who have revealed how their MILs went completely off the rails after becoming grandmas. Buckle up: These are real and they're bizarre.

  • MIL Dropped the Baby

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    An anonymous woman shared a story on Reddit saying her MIL dropped her newborn on the ground. It wasn't an accident -- she allegedly did this on purpose because her new grandson was "too dark" to be the son of her child. 

    "When she is handed my baby she looks at him and says, 'He's not [my Significant Other's], he's too dark to be SOs, [I] must have cheated," the new mom recalled.

  • MIL Won't Stop Sharing  

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    newborn baby
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    One woman shared the story of her MIL who didn't respect her and her husband's wishes to keep their new baby off of social media. Taking to Reddit, the anonymous mom said that she had to cut her MIL off from new baby photos because she would immediately post them on social media.

    "Each time, we ask her to take them down, and each time it turns into some big argument, and my husband winds up getting the brunt of some of her more passive-aggressive behaviors (saying we're ruining the joy of being a grandma for her, not speaking to us for a week at a time, etc.)," the mom explained.

  • MIL Changes Baby's Name

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    We spend a lot of time trying to find the perfect baby name for our new bundle of joy. Once we settle on a name, it becomes a part of them right away. That apparently was lost on one MIL who decided to go behind the new mom's back and changed her kid's name.

    [My husband's mother] even sent a Christmas gift to middle name 'Finlay,' and when I made a comment to my husband he didn't even have the decency to tell me!" she wrote. "He just let me keep believing for two months that our son's middle name was spelled Finley when it legally isn't!"

  • MIL Showed Up

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    It's a lot of work to bring a baby into the world. The pregnancy can be rough, followed by labor and then delivery -- it's a lot. Sometimes when we're finally able to leave the hospital, we want to cuddle up at home and be left alone. One MIL didn't respect that when her son and daughter-in-law welcomed a new baby. Instead of listening to the new mom's request to give her space -- she showed up at their home and wouldn't leave until she could see the baby.

  • MIL Wants To Breastfeed Baby

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    Hands
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    Breastfeeding isn't easy, but for new moms who go that route, support is important for ensuring they're able to have the time needed to establish a good routine. One MIL went a little too far in trying to support and instead insisted that she (yes, grandma) should breastfeed the new baby. 

    "She found articles from different cultures that do this and is thinking it's a great idea," the daughter-in-law explained about the MIL's new breastfeeding discovery. "I have told her gross no, my mom got involved and said no, but she is still finding articles and sending them to me about all the benefits."

  • MIL Demands Money Back

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    grandma and baby
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    Babies are expensive and that's why gifts from family and friends are so appreciated when a new baby comes into the world. What isn't appreciated, though, is when someone gives a gift and then asks for the money back. That's what one MIL did when she found out the new parents were receiving a tax refund.

    "She expected, no, DEMANDED that we hand over our entire refund to her, to pay her back for all of the money she spent in 'providing' for our child up until that point, because we couldn’t 'afford to do a good job of it....'" the mom shared on Reddit.

  • MIL Held Baby First

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    grandma and baby
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    An anonymous mom explained on a parenting forum that she found herself needing an emergency C-section that she described as "traumatic" during the birth of her baby. It was stressful and her MIL was at the hospital with them. However, instead of being there to look after the new mom -- she went and held the new baby before mom even got a chance to hold her.

    "I wasn't asked if it was okay if she could be there, and because I was being stitched up [in the operating room] still, she held my [dear daughter] before I even got to," the mom said. It obviously was the wrong thing to do.

  • MIL Claims Baby Doesn't Cry Enough

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    grandma and baby
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    There is no such thing as a "good" baby or a "bad" baby because they're all adorably amazing. However, there is some truth about having an "easy" baby and one who isn't. One mom found herself with one of those "easy" babies who didn't cry enough, but instead of being thankful the new parents were able to ease into their new roles, MIL criticized them. Yes, she said that the parents need to "make" the baby cry more or he "won't learn to be independent."

  • MIL Says Baby's in the Wrong Clothes

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    grandma holding newborn
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    It is hard to stand up against something a MIL is saying -- especially if it's the first child for the new parents. The MIL has "been there" and then assumes she knows what's best. That's what one MIL went off the rails about -- that the new baby was wearing the wrong-sized clothes. Because the baby was 18 months old, the grandma insisted she should be wearing 18-month clothes, even though most clothes in the 12-month size fit fine. She wouldn't drop the conversation, and in being so insistent about it, the new mom felt patronized.

  • MIL Is Trying To Put Makeup on a Newborn   

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    A lot of different traditions in different cultures exist, and although those may be important to some members of the family, the ultimate rule needs to be respected: Whatever the parents say is what goes. One new mom found herself in a battle against her MIL, who pressured and continued to insist she allow her to put "eyeliner" (a mixture of soot and ghee) to "ward off the evil eye" -- a tradition from India. The new mom was not comfortable with this, and instead of respecting it, MIL went off on her.

  • MIL 'Refuses' To Call New Baby by Her Name

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    grandma holding baby's hand
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    There will be some baby names that no everyone is going to love. And that's OK -- all that really matters is that the parent(s) love the name and there's nothing cruel about it. One MIL and new grandma certainly got sore about the name the new parents chose for the baby. She hated it so much she "refused" to call the baby by the name -- avoiding it at all costs.

  • MIL Shaming Twin Girls Over Their Weight

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    grandma holding newborn
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    One MIL decided it would be just fine to give her unsolicited opinion on her granddaughter's weight. The twin girls were only 9 months old when MIL decided to critique their weight to the new mom and proceeded to insist that these little girls should not be eating any carbohydrates because their weight was already an issue. How about nope?!

  • MIL 'Spit Swaps' With the Baby

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    Grandma holding baby
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    "Even during these difficult and scary times, I have learned that my MIL believes it is important to first suck on the pacifier ("to lube it up") before handing it to the baby," a new mom shared on Reddit. Yes, her MIL would do "spit swaps" with her new grandbaby and the mom was not OK with that. Instead of accepting that, MIL insulted the mom, saying she didn't know what she was talking about and was just being way too "overprotective."

  • MIL Calls Foul Over the Delivery Room

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    It's hard when someone feels left out out of a situation, including when it comes to labor and a new baby entering the world. But it's the parents' decision -- mostly the person who is giving birth because it's their body. One MIL went off the rails, claiming there was unfair favoritism because MIL was not permitted in the labor and delivery room but the other mother was.

  • MIL Ruined the Birth Announcement 

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    holding a newborn baby's hand
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    When the time is right to announce the birth of a baby, the parents get to make that decision. They get to control how the message comes out, when the news is delivered, and to whom they share the news with. It's important that it's done on their terms, but one MIL didn't care at all and instead jumped the announcement gun and shared the news first. The new parents felt their announcement and happy news was ruined because of her actions. 

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