Furious Mom Says Grandma Mocked Photo of Boy With Autism, Saying He Looks 'Unhealthy'

iStock

mom taking photo
iStock

Mamas of children with autism have to be extra vigilant -- especially when it comes to their close circle. Their child and that child's needs will always be priority one, even if that means making painful choices.

One mother has to make a particularly painful decision regarding her own mother after the grandmother said some hurtful things about her boy with autism.

  • The mom of twin 3-year-old nonverbal boys said it all started when her mother asked for some recent photos. 

    As she just had another baby, she thought it was a good opportunity to snap a few new ones. 

    "I'm so proud of my pictures because I am actually able to get my son looking at the camera and smiling, my other son is watching TV behind me, but they look adorable," she wrote in a post on Reddit. 

    She sent the pictures to her mom, and she expected her to dote on them just as she did.

  • Advertisement
  • Unfortunately, her mother had a totally opposite reaction to the photos.

    "Well, she decides to tell me my son looks unhealthy," the mom wrote. "I ask her what she means. She tells me it's his arms, the way he's placed his hands in the picture. She tells me he looks disabled."

  • The poor mom lost it then and there. 

    "She tells me it's my fault," the mom claimed. "I didn't raise him right. I need to work harder, 'make his hands normal' and teach him so he's not like this. I didn't even know anything like this came across in the picture!

    "Granted, he's not got his hands behind him, but they're fine," she continued. "He's got his hands beneath him as he's laughing, one in a position where the thumb is on the index finger, with his wrist curved. She doesn't even mention his gorgeous smile. It's all about him 'being disabled' and me being a bad mom for causing it."

  • "I love him and he was born like this," the mom wrote. "I can't just teach or raise the autism out of him."

    The mom then revealed a slew of abusive behavior she received at the hands of her mother, ranging from verbal to emotional. 

    "She told me never to have kids, because she hated hers," she concluded. "She said we were all a mistake and she wished she never got married. I pitied her. I tried to understand her. My dad had cheated on her so I tried to not make it about me."

    But the digs at her sons was a final straw.

  • "Why? Why take things out on him? He's beautiful," the mom gushed. 

    "He looks like a little Ryan Gosling with a giant goofy grin," she continued. "She tells me it's better that she makes me cry and tells me the truth before someone else, like what? I know my son's limitations but that doesn't mean she has to say all this [expletive] about him.

    The mom feels like she has no other option.

    "Now I feel like I have no choice. I must go no contact for the sake of my children," she wrote. "I love my son, and will not talk to her because she will never understand them or their autism. It will only get worse as they get older ... I have handled a lot of abuse in my life, but I have too much on my plate now. I can't forgive her or pity her anymore."

  • People comforted the mom and assured her that she was making the wright choice.


    "I think you already know what you need to do," wrote one commenter, adding this:

    "Get her out of your life and out of your sons' lives ASAP. I'm sorry you've had to endure such cruelties from your own mother (it seems really generous to even refer to her as a mother), but you need to take the [reins] and cut her out completely. From the sound of it, she probably should've been cut out of your life a long time ago."

  • People also assured her that she has every right to go no contact with her mother for HER, not just her children.

    "Cutting her off now will begin the respect YOU deserve," affirmed another concerned user. "When you were young she was abusive and neglectful. When you were older she remained terrible. Before the children came along she was hateful."

    The person continued, "With the children here she has gone nuclear.You have gone so long not realising you are a fabulous and worthy individual in your own right you are trying to justify cutting her off for the sake of your children ... And remember this: You are worthy, you are loved, you deserve dignity and respect."

    A-M-E-N.