MIL Demands New Parents Buy a Queen-Sized Guest Bed So She Can Visit 'Whenever'



Being a first-time parent is extremely exciting -- adding to that excitement is when the expected nugget is also making people grandparents for the first time. Unfortunately, it can also bring people's inability to stick to boundaries, especially mothers-in-law.

One soon-to-be mom is learning that the hard way after her MIL made a rather bold demand. 

  • With the current health crisis, the woman says she and her husband are already dealing with a lot of push back. 

    "My JustNoMother keeps pressuring us to let her hold our newborn the minute he's born even though she's not quarantining, etc.," the mom wrote on Reddit. "Husband and I have been pretty clear that we will be strict."

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  • This really escalated on a Zoom call where her MIL made a really specific (and expensive) demand. 

    "My MIL and FIL live a 6-7 hour drive away, however, and it's not even legal for them to come visit us for the foreseeable future," she wrote. "Still, on our last Zoom call, my MIL insisted that husband and I buy a queen sized or larger guest bed to take up one of our bedrooms so that they can come stay with us regularly (starting as early as July!) because 'Now that FIL is retired and I'm working from home, we have much more flexibility and will want to visit often and are sick of staying in hotels.'"

  • The cost and space alone is enough to make this an unreasonable request, but the mom-to-be is feeling extra concerns about this too. 

    "I really don't want my in-laws to stay with us regularly," she wrote  honestly. "My MIL expects everything to revolve around her. Every visit I spend hours planning what meals to make because she's such a picky eater, and every visit she comes up with new restrictions or intolerances. I really don't want ANYONE staying with us for the foreseeable future with a newborn in the house (I wouldn't feel comfortable breastfeeding in front of them and I don't believe that they'd respect our parenting wishes -- MIL is overbearing."

  • For now, the mom quickly shot it down by saying they weren't comfortable with visitors due to the health crisis.

    "Eventually we will need to address this," admitted. 

    Then she asked Reddit: "Am I being unreasonable in not wanting houseguests / not wanting to take up a whole bedroom of our house for said guests? How do others cope with this? I also doubt I'll feel up to a 7 hour drive with a 1 year old in the future..."

  • Seasoned moms agreed: She needs to nip this in the bud. 

    "No you're being perfectly reasonable," assured one reader. "I've been extremely strict with visitors with my newborn as well. You just don't know who they've been around and whether or not someone is really quarantined like they say they are. Plus that's a lot of money for you to just drop on them when you're having a baby AND a lot of visiting all in one."

  • People also reminded her that health crisis or not, the mom was entitled to "making the rules."

    "[In] no way, are you obliged to be responsible for their feelings and take on their emotions if they or specifically your MIL complains," advised one reader. "Which she will, and she will resist and insist until she accepts your boundaries. At that stage, maybe there can be some negotiations but anyway that's stressful enough with being first time parents. There are obviously some serious boundaries that need to be placed between your family and the MIL."

    Hopefully the new mom can put this behind her and just focus on her new baby, and her MIL learns her place quickly.