Mom Ready To Return to Work Says Fiancé & Family Think It's a 'Waste of Time'



Some of us are wholly satisfied being stay at home mothers. There's absolutely nothing wrong with that. For others, however, to get more fulfillment, they may need to have a professional life, and frankly there isn't anything wrong with that either.

One mom on Reddit is having a tough time convincing her fiancé and family of that, and getting the support she needs to return to the workforce.

  • "I quit my job over three years ago to be a SAHM," wrote the mom. "We’ve since had another baby in that time, and our kids are now 2 and 3."

    The mom further explained that at every turn, after she informed people she was interested in going back, they tried to actively dissuade her from taking that plunge. 

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  • Everything they said was pretty degrading and hurtful. 


    "Basically, no one thinks my mental health and/or happiness is important," she lamented. "I need to work for my own sanity."

    She went on that she too had goals, skills, and social needs that had to be fulfilled, and after giving that up for three years, she felt she deserved her time. 

    "Yeah, I don’t 'need' to work, but why is my job always pushed aside and put on the back burner? No one would ever say this about my fiancé’s career."

  • People thoroughly agreed that mom was in the right. They also agreed that of the criticism she received, her future husband's was most disheartening. 

    "Most of that you can just ignore, but your fiancé saying 'I’m not splitting childcare with you' would be a serious deal-breaker for me," wrote one reader. "I've made career sacrifices because it made financial sense for us and I'm ok with it, but we would be having a serious f---ing sit down talk if he ever said something like that to me. You matter, your mental health matters, your dreams and future prospects matter, and you deserve a partner who can recognize, respect, and support that."

  • Another dad, who is the primary worker in his relationship, even shared the same sentiment. 

    "My wife is a SaHM, but we made that decision together, because my career happened to pay substantially more, and I still feel guilty about it," on dad shared. "I take as much of the childcare load as I can manage around my professional workload, and I would do more if I could. If breaking even were an option right now, hiring help so she could work ... absolutely, yes."

  • The mom ultimately shared she was laying out some terms for her fiancé.

    "He legitimately pouted about it," the mom explained. "I told him that he would be splitting 50/50 childcare costs with me, or he could pay child support AND 50/50 childcare costs. ... He didn’t really say anything after that."

    Boom. This mama knows what she wants and needs, and props to her for making sure that's known.