I Just Experienced Poomageddon -- the Worst Diaper Blowout Any Parent's Car Has Ever Seen


Anneliese Lawton

Holy literal s-h--t, friends.

Today, while driving in the car with the boys I smelled something RANK.

Like, totally disgusting, something died in this car, what the f-ck is that smell? Rank.

It was stinky -- and while I assumed it was probably my tiniest munchkin digesting his McDonalds, I was also growing genuinely concerned for the butt that was making that incredible smell.

When we turned into our destination and I finally had the chance to cock my head and get a good look, I saw it.

  • Poo. Lathered ALL OVER my kid's arms, legs, fingers, car seat -- legit it was everywhere.

    Now, before I go on -- you have to know how hard of a day it was today. It was one of those days that sends you to the back of your closet while devouring a Snickers covered in your tears.

  • Advertisement
  • And now, this. Poomageddon. All over the gosh darn place.

    Not to mention it's six thousand degrees outside ... so opening the windows to air out the smell? Yah right. That would've turned my car into a moving-grooving poop sauna.

    Thankfully, our destination was a kid-friendly therapy session -- because man, oh man, did this mama need some therapy today. And I wasn't gonna miss it on account of some poo.

  • With wipes and elf hat in hand. Yes, you heard me right, ELF HAT in hand. I began the process of decontaminating my child.

    There was no garbage bin in sight so the deep-felty elf hat made the perfect hazardous waste bin.

    My husband is always on me to keep a clean car. Well, MESS HAS PURPOSE, DARLING.

    I walked into that therapy session, hair smelling like sh-t, baby in a bathing suit -- because, well, that's all I had, and received so much love from the therapist who encouraged me to put the oxygen mask on myself.

  • Motherhood, a never-ending sh-tstorm. But remember, after every sh-tstorm, there's a rainbow.

    And it's usually on your walls in crayon.

    This post was written by Anneliese Lawton and first appeared on Grown Up Glamour. It was reprinted with permission.

parenthood