The Major Mistake I Realized I'm Making With How I Raise My Boy

Laura Mazza/Facebook

I realized something the other day, about what kind of man I am raising. 

As someone who would classify herself as someone who wants political, gender, economical and social equality, I reali[z]ed I don’t practice what I preach with my son.

I didn’t reali[z]e it but I do everything for him and my excuse? He’s only 4.

He speaks to me so rudely sometimes and demands I get him things, and without skipping a beat, I do, because I tell myself he’s only young.

  • I give excuses. He speaks to me rudely because he’s only little, because he’s tired, because because because.

    I worry so much about doing the right thing as a parent, to nurture his needs, to make him feel secure so when he’s an adult he is mentally healthy, but in doing that, I become his doormat. 

  • Advertisement
  • And it wasn’t until he refused to pick his discarded food off the floor and told me to do it, and I went to go pick it up, that when a friend who was watching the way he speaks to me, said “he needs to do it.”

    I went to ignore her and pick it up anyway because I didn’t want to yell or make him sad. 

    She touched my arm and said “Because what if one day he marries my daughter and he speaks to her like this because he has learned since childhood that it’s okay to demand the female figure in his life to do these things for him.”

    And not everything is sensitive like that, not every parenting style has to be political. I definitely don’t think that, but what she said made me really think.
  • He is only 4 now, but one day he will be 44, and I don’t want to be the reason why his partner gives excuses like “because.”

    And of course, the same applies to my daughter. She also needs to learn that mommy can’t do everything for her, because when she does move out (at the age of 35 because that’s what statistics say these days 😂) she needs to learn she’s gotta look after herself. 

    It’s like my brain opened up and I understood the friend vs. parent thing and that if I’m going to raise good stable mentally healthy children, I have to put my foot down to make sure they don’t turn into entitled lazy a**holes instead. 

    I hate the saying “when you know better, you do better” because it’s been used sanctimoniously on me before, but this time, I was schooled and now, I know better.

    This post was written by Laura Mazza of Mum on the Run and reprinted with permission.