Stay-at-Home Mom Admits That She Hates Being a Parent in Heartbreaking Confession


stay-at-home mom

Motherhood is often portrayed as the most magical thing a woman can do. But what if your truth is different than what you expected it to be -- and that makes it feel like a dirty little secret? That's the horrifying realization that one woman came to after not only acknowledging that deep down she honestly doesn't actually like being a mom but also being brave enough to confess it online. Although she loves her kid, her reality is that she does not love being a mother.

  • The honest mom explained what the real problem is: Motherhood just isn't what she expected.

    As the stay-at-home mom shared on Reddit, she missed the sense of freedom she had before she became a mother. "I hate the immense responsibility, I hate that all she wants is me a lot of the time," she wrote. The mom swears that she tries to be a good parent and gives her daughter her complete attention "but I hate it," she wrote. "I look forward to her going for her naps, I can't wait until she goes to bed at night, so I can have time away from her."

    "I wish I knew what it would actually like to be a parent before I decided to get pregnant," she lamented. "I miss my old life."

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  • The mom said that because she had to learn her lesson the hard way, she's decided she's not going to have any more children.

    Reddit thread

    Luckily her husband is onboard. The only problem is that the mom now feels guilty for feeling like motherhood isn't a good fit and worries she's making the wrong choice. "I see people getting pregnant and having their second and third kids and I wonder what I’m doing so wrong, and why I hate it so much," she asked. 

  • Much to the mom's surprise, other mothers readily admitted that motherhood is much more difficult than they imagined. 

    One person shared the one way that helped them move past their own feelings of hating being a parent. "I had someone tell me that I should give up trying to re-create how my life was before having a baby, and that is the most sound advice I've gotten yet," the person wrote in the comments. "It will never be the same, and as soon as I realized that, I started realizing that I don't dislike being around my son as much anymore. I've finally started to embrace the idea of a new chapter, and stopped trying to go back to how it was."

    "I love my kid. I hate being a mom," wrote someone else. 

    Another person was stunned the mom had admitted her own feelings, "Yeah I could have written this myself. It’s nice to see I’m not the only one that feels this way... maybe I’m not as big of a piece of (expletive) as I thought," she wrote.

  • Other parents tried to convince the mom that even though she feels this way now, things will definitely get better.

    "Normal feelings," one person told her. "Parenting isn’t some magical experience that fills every void in your soul. It’s a mental/physical slog that actually lays bare all of your weaknesses. But there’s real love there and moments of unspeakable joy that only you’ll be able to understand."

    Someone else wrote that life gets better once your kid starts school. "The first three years are so hard. They need so much help. It is a 24-hr job, with no appreciation or time off," the person commented. "But. It gets better. Elementary school is around the corner. Every day they learn to do more on their own. They get to to point where they are cool and funny and it’s lovely. Hang in there."

    "You really are in the thick of the hardest part of it!" a third person commented. "They are still small enough to need you 24/7, but independent enough to argue everything 24/7, also you haven’t really had a break for 2 years and it is possible to be “touched out” or just burnt out from the constant drain of parenting."

  • In the end, many people suggested that the mom try to make small adjustments to make her life a little easier, such as going back to work.

    The mom later explained that she works one or two days as a nurse, but that still wasn't enough time for her to feel completely fulfilled.

    "I applied for a new position," she wrote later in the thread, but shared that the last time she tried to increase her hours it was harder than expected. "I did go back to work after my year of May leave but my husband's and my work schedule made child care very difficult, and I burned through some sick time and he ended up using a ton of vacation. It wasn’t sustainable."

    So for now, the mom is doing her best to be a good parent and staying focused on the future. "There are moments of joy [In parenthood], but to be honest they aren’t enough to make me not regret my choices," she wrote. "I will live with it though and do the best job I can, who knows maybe I will actually enjoy it one day when she’s older, until then I’ll just keep moving along."