MIL Wants Grandkids to Also Call Her 'Mommy' & Dad is Taking Her Side


grandma and baby

We all want our parents and in-laws to be comfortable with whatever name our kiddos call them. Whether it's Nanny and Pop-Pop, Grammy and Gramps, or plain-old Grandma and Grandpa, this should be a fun decision for the whole family. Unless, that is, your mother-in-law wants a name that's really strange and crosses a serious line. That's the problem that one wife has, after her MIL insisted that she be called "Mommy" too.

  • The request is definitely unusual, but it's her husband's reaction that made matters worse for this woman.

    In a post on Reddit, the anonymous wife explained that her MIL wants to their future children to call her "Mommy-(Her Name)" and for her to be called "Mommy-(Mom's Name)."  So if the mother-in-law's name is Linda, her nickname would be Mommy Linda and if the mom's name was Carol, she would be Mommy Carol, which is just a tad unusual.

    "I told my Dear Husband that I am not ok with that at all and if I can't be my own kids' mommy then I'm just not having kids," she wrote. But her husband was unfazed. "He thinks it's not a big deal and I'm just being dramatic," she wrote.

    He husband also argued that this is what his brother's kids call his mom and so she shouldn't have a problem with their kids doing the same thing. To which, his wife pointed our that neither of those kid's mothers are still with his brother for this exact reason. Yikes. 

    "Either way I think that I should have a say in what they call her/me," she added. "Also, he supposedly called MIL's mother (mommy first name) which is why he is mad at me."

    Now the couple are angry with each other and the wife wants some outside opinions on if she's overreacting. "I worried that I was in the wrong because everyone in my life (besides my own mother) thinks that I should just ignore it because that's not a good reason to get divorced over," she wrote. "We don't disagree on a lot so the whole situation is stressing me out a lot."

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  • Online, people thought that grandma was really trying to pull a fast one. 

    "Holy (expletive), is your MIL for real???" one person commented. "She absolutely does NOT get to be called mommy, and your husband really sucks for not supporting you on this. Not only that, but she is in turn demanding that she gets to pick your mother name as well. Not okay."

    And someone else agreed that this MIL was overstepping. "GOD that's weird," they wrote. "She obviously wants to have equal footing with your kid -- watch TFO for this woman."

    "Tell your husband if she wants to be Mommy, she can birth some new children," a third person wrote. "Tell your husband that outside his circle, this is abnormal. Names and roles exist for a reason. By definition, she is a grandmother. Ask him why she wants to be specifically called Mommy," the person added.

  • But there were some people who thought the mom was the crazy one. 

    One person argued that it was simply a tradition that the mom didn't have to participate in. "It sounds like some kind of family tradition for them and that's ok but it doesn't obligate you to be comfortable with it or to play along," the person wrote. 

    "This is just such a stupid argument," another person commented. "You don't have kids yet so it's not actually an issue and you've even said this would STOP you from having kids?! That's ridiculous. From my experience, kids tend to call their grandparents whatever the parents call them. Don't make a mountain out of a molehill. When and if you get pregnant suggest some other grandma titles to your Dear Husband and try to work on this constructively."

    Someone else thought that grandma had every right to pick her own name just as much as mom did. "You don’t get to choose other peoples' names. You are not a dictator or supreme overlord, however much you may want to be," they person commented. "That being said, you don’t have to be 'Mommy Your name,' you can just be mommy if you want. You choose your own name, she chooses her own name."

    In the end, the mom felt a lot better for getting her feelings off her chest. "It bothered me a lot until I posted it here and now I don't feel as crazy for disagreeing with him," she wrote later in the thread. "I personally think she wants to be mommy because he(r) mom took that title from her," she added. "Its only MIL / MIL mother / and MIL brothers and sisters that do this."