Angry Mom Slams the Idea of Balance in Parenting -- Even With a 'Hands-on Dad'

Constance Hall/Facebook

As a mom of five, Constance Hall is more than familiar with the new baby routine. Hall, a popular mommy blogger and author, typically opens up about her life raising little ones for followers to enjoy. With these posts and photos, many on social media can't help but notice how involved her husband, Denim Cooke, is since welcoming her most recent baby and their first little one together, Raja. But things aren't exactly what they seem, and Hall wants moms to know that her partner is no different than many of theirs, and it's pretty sh*tty.

  • The Australian mom set the record straight on Facebook about her "hands-on" dad and "couples goals" vibes people get from her social media.

    "The truth is that having a baby has pushed my relationship to the absolute edge," she wrote. "I can handle upping my work load. I really can. But what I can’t handle is the unjust, unfair living arrangements that so commonly follow the birth of a baby."

    Constance explained that she isn't trying to bash Denim on social media or "air their dirty laundry." She's just trying to get real with women about her experience instead of protecting her partner's behavior. 

    "The minute the baby came out, I became the ball and chain," she wrote. "Coming somewhere with me became a chore, holding the baby, a favor, we went from being inseparable our saying was 'where you go I go' to Christmas holidays with two trips apart already." 

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  • The truth is things aren't perfect -- even if they look it on social media.

    Although people may see a "hands-on" dad, that's not how Constance feels. "I am lonely. I wake up with my baby at 6:00 a.m. and I’m in bed exhausted by 8:00 p.m," she confessed. "That’s the thing about babies, they take away all of your alone time and somehow leave you feeling incredibly lonely." 

    But she's more than that -- she's also bitter at this point. "I am resentful. After doing so many loads of washing the other morning while his highness slept in for the 340th time this year, I flooded the bathroom, mopped for half an hour, put the baby down, made myself some eggs, walked past the wet patch and slipped, smashing my plate and knees," she wrote. "I just lay there, covered in washing machine water. Furiously crying. So f*cking angry with where motherhood/wifehood has taken me." 

  • This new mom is struggling because it doesn't matter how many times you've been through it or who your partner is, motherhood is d*mn hard. 

    "I’m f*cking exhausted, so many night feeds, remembering to buy school stuff for next year, to bath all my kids, wash all the clothes, dishes, supermarket, take them out to tire them out, answer five thousand questions a day with a smile," she wrote. "And keeping this house looking relatively clean because someone walked into it the other day, laughed, and said, 'Don’t clean up for us.' But the truth is I f*cking had, for hours." 

  • This is motherhood, and in her experience, there's nothing equal about it.

    Constance's husband isn't going through any of this, so the illusion of a "hands-on" dad is just a lie. "Is this what equality looks like? You have a baby and you become insect repellent to husbands?" she asked. "Women are now allowed to work for a shittier wage and then come home and still squeeze in all the work we had to do in the '50s? Breastfeed the baby, cook, and would you like a free f*cking blow job with all of that entitlement sir?"

  • But Constance knows everything is just fine because if nothing else, she's a "hands-on" mom.

    Constance  is clear that her relationship, like many others, isn't balanced -- but that doesn't mean it's doomed. "In the spirit of honesty, having a baby is one thing, sharing that baby is a completely different story," she wrote. "Where there is love there is a way and there is no shortage of love in my marriage. We will grow and we will be ok."