10 Thoughts Every Mom Has Now That It's Totally Fall



This morning I took my kids on a walk. The air was crisp and cool and I was blessedly not sweaty or swatting at mosquitoes. My heart started to swell and then I heard the most delightful sound in the world -- the sound of leaves crunching under our shoes. It's official. Fall has hit my neighborhood. 

Now, I know some people will mourn the loss of long summer days with bright sunshine tanning their shoulders. These people are suckers, because everybody knows that fall is the best freaking season of the year.

I’m convinced that every mom is happier in fall than any other time of year and I have proof. Well, I have proof if you count top 10 lists as proof. Which they TOTALLY ARE. Let’s break down why fall is happy time for moms.

  • 1. No more summer clothes.  


    Summer clothes can be cute but they can require so much damn work. You’ve got to have the right bra to go with the skinny straps. People expect your toenails to look cute in your strappy sandals. Let’s not even talk about the whole bathing suit in public situation and all the grooming that is required for that.

    But fall clothes? Fall clothes are the best. Fall clothes are comfortable and cozy. You don’t have to shave ANYTHING to rock your favorite leggings, giant sweatshirt, and boots. Plus, everyone knows that fall is the official start of cozy pajama season. 

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  • 2. It’s furry ankle season, suckers.


    Speaking of shaving, guess what I stopped doing as soon as it hit 70 degrees? I’m putting my razor away until spring and I don’t even care that you’ll be able to braid my leg hair by Christmas.

  • 3. Short days, dark nights.

    istock.com/Vasyl Dolmatov

    I spent all summer arguing with my kid about why she has to go to bed when it was still light out. Sunlight at 9 p.m. is a total bedtime killer. Now it’s dark at 6:45 and bedtime just got a whole lot easier. Thank you, fall!

  • 4. Back to school.


    And where are my kids spending their short fall days? Back at school, which means that for seven hours a day, they are someone else’s responsibility. Yasssssss!

  • 5. Candy season.


    Any mom who claims that she doesn’t look forward to “inspecting” her kid’s candy to remove any “suspicious” looking candy is a damn liar. As far as my kids know, all Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups are potentially dangerous and will be taken into my custody by 9 p.m. on Halloween.

  • 6. Pumpkin spice EVERYTHING.


    There’s a reason it is in everything. That shit is delicious.

  • 7. Peak social media cuteness.


    Fall is peak Instagram season. We’ve got your back-to-school pictures, your trip to the apple orchard pictures, your Halloween pictures -- fall is a photogenic season, which means we’ll be getting likes on cute pictures all day, every day.

  • 8. There’s no such thing as “fall cleaning.”


    Once summer is over, I don’t have to worry about mowing our grass or pulling weeds or keeping up with our neighbor’s epic garden. I can just let the leaves hit the ground and tell everyone that I’m being environmentally friendly by letting them rot. Inside the house, I’m no longer sweeping up endless sand from the beach or the park. The reduction in natural light also means that I can’t see all the dust accumulating on my shelves. 

    Less cleaning, more couch time. I call that a win.

  • 9. Fall is healthier.


    Here’s a short list of things you don’t have to worry about in fall: mosquito bites, sunburn, heat stroke, frostbite, and insanity caused by being stuck inside for days due to a blizzard (why, yes, I do live in Minnesota).

    In fall all you have to worry about is dying from happiness while looking at the pretty leaves changing colors. 

  • 10. Better sexy times.


    Sex in the summer is too sweaty. In winter it’s too damn cold to get totally naked. But fall? Fall is peak for sexy times. The crisp air, the soft flannel sheets, the fact that you no longer have to see your man’s gross toenails in his stinky sandals? Oh yeah, time to get it on!

    So let’s all raise our pumpkin spice lattes to the sky and toast to fall, the best season of the year!