10 Reasons to Keep Pawning Thanksgiving Off on Your Relatives


burnt turkey

In almost every television show and movie, Thanksgiving is portrayed with beautifully browned turkeys, candlelit tables, and loving families appreciating each other's company. In reality, it's a lot messier: people sitting in camping chairs, mini kitchen fires, and that person who always forgets to bring the napkins. This is even worse when you've agreed to host. Luckily, there's still a little bit of time left to completely pawn the holiday off on someone else -- here's why you should...
  • 1. Your kids can mess up someone else's house for once.

    Something happens when gangs of kids get together for the holidays. They almost immediately abandon all sense of propriety and decide to behave like little banshees, destroying everything in sight. Maybe it's wrong, but it's a dog-eat-dog world and having your kids mess up someone else's home for once means your house gets to survive another day.

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  • 2. The thought of having to referee battling relatives gives you hives.

    Has anyone ever had a successful family gathering without any drama? We sure don't think so. Every host has the unofficial title of Relative Referee every Thanksgiving, so if you don't feel like getting caught in the crossfire that occurs when both of your uncle's ex-wives are in the same room, let someone else handle it this year. 

  • 3. All the Thanksgiving prep takes time away from your Black Friday planning.

    It's time we stop lying to ourselves and admit that Thanksgiving is pretty much just a precursor to Black Friday these days. Why waste all that time cooking and entertaining when you could be creating your game plan for getting through Target's Black Friday sales without a black eye or a murder charge?

    More from CafeMom: 13 Cringeworthy Stories of When Thanksgiving Went So, So Wrong

  • 4. Your mom will definitely complain about your mac and cheese the entire time.

    No matter what she says, your mom probably isn't entirely happy passing the Thanksgiving baton to you, nor is she totally cool with your getting all of the "glory." This means that her glorious brand of passive-aggressiveness is going to be ramped all the way up, and she'll have no problem snidely complaining about that mac and cheese you worked so damn hard on. Just let someone else make it.

  • 5. You have no idea how to properly prepare a turkey.

    How far in advance are you supposed to buy it? Do you keep it frozen? Is it really necessary to stick your hand all the way in there? Properly preparing a turkey is difficult. Even people who are seasoned professionals in the kitchen sometimes wind up with dry, gross turkeys. It's always better to let someone else take the blame if it turns out tasting like crap.

  • 6. No one's going to offer to help you clean up after.

    Everyone is always super grateful for all the hard work the host put into Thanksgiving -- until it's time to clean up. No one ever offers to help tackle the mountain of dishes in your kitchen or pay for the curtains that his or her kids helped eviscerate.

    More from CafeMom: 14 Thanksgiving Hacks to Save Your Time (& Sanity!) This Year

  • 7. It's way too expensive.

    While some people follow the model of "everyone contributes $30" to the Thanksgiving meal, most families do it the old-fashioned way. Which means you have to shell out all of your cold, hard cash to pay for everything -- the turkey, the drinks, the desserts, and everything in between. It all adds up to one huge-ass grocery bill. You should definitely let someone else deal with that, but the least you can do is throw a little bit of cash his or her way for the trouble.  

  • 8. You can't get wine drunk if you're the one who has to take care of everything.

    Even if you aren't hosting, the holidays can be super freaking stressful. If there was ever a time when it's acceptable to get a little too drunk on Trader Joe's pinot grigio in front of your closest family members, Thanksgiving would be it. Unfortunately, you can't do that if you're running around trying to make everything perfect all day. 

  • 9. You definitely don't have enough time to do everything.

    Not only do you have to cook an entire meal for Thanksgiving, but you have to find the time to plan it out, go shopping for everything, and clean up your entire house. This is on top of the fact that you probably already have to go to work, get some sleep, and manage to parent your children. You'll be lucky if you don't go crazy trying to create all of those extra hours to fit into the day. 

    More from CafeMom: 15 Thanksgiving Episodes That Became Instant Binge-Watching Classics

  • 10. You'll probably feel empty inside once everyone is gone.

    If you haven't been convinced to leave Thanksgiving hosting to someone else just yet, just think about how you're going to feel once it's all over, after everyone is gone and you're left with one measly piece of pumpkin pie, a desecrated kitchen, and cranberry sauce that no one even pretended to eat. Empty. You're going to feel totally and completely empty.