What It's Actually Like to Lose the Baby Weight: Expectations vs. Reality

pregnant woman on scale
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We love our babies to the moon and back. It's the pressure to lose the baby weight that we could do without. People are obsessed with the idea of women "bouncing back" after pregnancy, and sometimes it feels like all of the stresses in our lives would be solved if we could just fit into our pre-baby jeans again. But would they, really? I finally made it back to my pre-mom weight after having twins, and I've got to tell you, things did not go exactly the way I imagined they would. Here's what actually happens when you finally lose the baby weight.

  • Expectation: Once you hit that pre-baby number, it's goodbye frumpy sweatpants and shapeless T-shirts, hello cute sweaters and skinny jeans.

    Reality: Um, you have no time to shop because you're a mom, remember?

    Even if you do manage to score yourself one of those Insta-worthy outfits, you quickly realize why you only see moms wearing them in pictures. No matter what number's in the waistband, jeans still aren't comfortable for crawling around on the floor during a diaper change. And the baby will spit up on your shirt no matter what size it is.

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  • Expectation: Once I lose the baby weight, strangers will stop commenting on my body.

    Reality: Cue all the people who will shame you for daring to take time away from your child to work out.

    "I could never leave my baby to go to the gym," they'll say as they look you up and down. Shamed if you do, shamed if you don't.

  • Expectation: I'll be a calmer, happier mom once I lose the weight.

    Reality: It's true that your back may not be quite so sore after a day of lugging your mini-me around on your hip, but losing your shit when you step on a Lego barefoot happens whether you're a size 2 or 22.

  • Expectation: As soon as the scale is back in your "happy" zone, you'll be getting your "50 Shades" on every night.

    Reality: Your phone may be filled with selfies because you're feeling yourself, but feeling up on your husband may still have to wait until the baby's sleeping through the night.

    More from CafeMom: 15 Terrifying Contraptions People Actually Used to Put Their Kids In

  • Expectation: Your kids will be happier once you hit your goal weight.

    Reality: Your kids don't care what size you are. They'll throw themselves on the floor when you deny them a cookie either way. And, most importantly, they'll love you either way too.