A Husband Dressed This Mom for Date Night & It Changed How She Sees Herself

husband dresses wife for date night
Assignment Mom/Facebook

When it comes to picking an outfit for a special event, we can be our own worst critic. It's easy to see all the things we want to change about ourselves instead of all the things we should celebrate. But one mom learned that the people we love don't see the flaws we personally obsess over -- after she let her family choose options for her to wear to a banquet dinner.

Like most of us, blogger Assignment Mom rarely rocks anything besides pants. "I don't even wear dresses that often, to be perfectly honest," she wrote in a recent Facebook post. "My standard mom uniform looks more like jeans and t-shirts -- with a sweatshirt when the weather begins to change. Maybe something bordering a blouse if a fancy-ish occasion arises." Jeans on the reg? Yoga-pant moms everywhere salute you.
But with a date night with her husband at a banquet on the line, she decided to branch out from her usual closet standbys and get something new to wear. She headed to the mall, with plenty of homemade slime to keep the kids occupied while she slipped in and out of dressing rooms.
"So we went shopping. The whole circus. Four kids and the husband, casually browsing through mall boutiques while younger, trendier sales associates looked on in slight wariness at my kids playing contentedly with slime."
So many of us end up grabbing the same style dress in different colors time after time because we know what we're comfortable in, and we stick with it. But she decided to shake things up and let each member of her family pick out a dress for her to try on. "There was the mustard yellow number my son chose. The form-fitting (i.e.: too tight) eggplant one my daughter loved. The slightly bohemian bell sleeve floaty thing my other daughter preferred." 
How fun, right? To see that your son thinks you should shine in a stand-out color? Or that your daughter pictures you as a princess, even if the gown was a little too snug? Letting her kids pick a dress for her to try on gave her just a small insight into how they view her as a person outside of being their mom.
But it was the dress her husband picked out that helped her silence that inner voice inside who whispers how we're not good enough. 
When she first tried on his floral pick, she thought it was a definite no. Sleeveless? No thank you. "This dress looks terrible," she writes. "That's what I thought as I stared at myself inside a mall dressing room. It's nothing I'd normally go for: big floral print, a kind of velvety fabric, a little bare across the shoulders. I've had four kids over the past nine years; black is my best friend and less is not usually more, you know?"

Her husband told her this was THE dress, but her insecurities clung on. "'You don't think it makes my arms look bad?' I fretted. Four babies, remember? There's not a lot of time for workouts that involve something other than hoisting a baby on my hip while fixing grilled cheese with my free hand." But seeing how much he loved her in the dress made her realize she needed to stop worrying about the flaws she saw and start trying to see herself the way the people who love her see her. 

"I bought it," she writes. "And I'm going to wear it. And I'm going to own it, arms and all." YAAAS, QUEEN!

She says self-love isn't about thinking that your body is perfect. It's about loving yourself enough to see your body and spirit as it appears to those who care about you.

"Is my post-baby body perfect? No way," she admits. "But it's the only one I've got. It's the one my husband still loves, the one my kids find comfort snuggling up to at bedtime, the one worth dressing up in something other than jeans and a tired old t-shirt every now and then."

More from CafeMom: Letter Asking Students Not to Refer to Teacher as 'He' or 'She' Divides Parents

"It's the one I should quit looking at in the mirror and immediately criticizing, the one I should start seeing through their eyes instead. Because what they see? It's not terrible at all."

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