9 Ways Going to Target in Your 30s Is Like Clubbing in Your 20s


partying at the club

You may think you left your party days behind when you crossed that big 30 threshold, but the truth is you're wrong. Your inner party girl still gets her freak on, it's just that instead of 10 p.m., the party's moved to 10 a.m., and it's not at some abandoned warehouse or hot new club, it's at Target. You might not see it at first, but dancing it up back in the day and making the Target run now are totally the same thing. The tickle you'd get in your stomach when your hand got stamped -- seeing that Dollar Spot sign gives you that same thrill, doesn't it? You don't know exactly what's going to happen once you walk through those doors, but you know it's going to be awesome. Let's do this.

  • 1. There's eye candy everywhere.

    Ten years ago it was "Cute blonde, 3 o'clock," but now it's "This blonde oak dresser would match the bedding in the baby's room perfectly!" Either way, nice find.

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  • 2. But first, drinks.

    A night out in your 20s wasn't officially started until you had a drink in hand. Some things never change, because no trip to Target can get under way unless you've picked up your latte first.

  • 3. There's always a costume change.

    Clubbing required you and your friends to get creative in the bathroom, trading lipsticks and turning tube tops into mini skirts to cover up martini stains. Nowadays, it's impossible to walk through Target's clothing section without saying "Well, I guess I should just try it on..."

    From there, it's only a matter of time until you're pulling off the tags to be scanned and wearing that cute new sweater out of the store.

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  • 4. There's lots of screaming.

    Back then you'd leave the club with your throat sore from shouting over the DJ all night. Now, unless you're lucky enough to have a #MeDate and wander the aisles solo, you shop to the soundtrack of the kids complaining about the injustice of your not buying them stuffed animals/fruit snacks/a random dog bed when you don't even have a dog.

  • 5. You always spend more than you plan.

    In your 20s, you'd wake up the morning after a night out and cringe when you finally gathered up the courage to check your bank balance. Now, at least you know the damage right away, but you're still always shocked to see how all those $1 finds add up so quickly.

  • 6. One word: Shots.

    Flu shots are admittedly less fun than those ones that tasted like Skittles, but still, line 'em up!

  • 7. Waiting in line is a given.

    All the best clubs had a wait to get in. There's plenty of standing in line at Target too, only this time it's at the end of the party and you're not freezing while you wait.

  • 8. You stay way longer than you should.

    Even on the nights when you told yourself you'd head home early, somehow those trips to the club always went on until last call. It's the same way at Target. You tell yourself you're just running in for trash bags and milk. Next thing you know it's an hour and 45 minutes later and you're trying on sunglasses.

  • 9. You always have second thoughts about what went down.

    You can't do anything about the fact that you made out with that random dude on your 24th birthday, but thankfully you can return this hideous accent pillow with a cactus on it. Seriously, what were you thinking?