Mom Hilariously Details the Moment Her Kid Walked in on Her Having Sex

Emma Lou Harris with Joe
Emma Lou Harris Blog/Facebook

Since the dawn of time, moms and dads have been sneaking in horizontal hump sessions (vertical if the spirit moves you) whenever and wherever they can. Sometimes, parents are successful, and other times they're surprised by an unwanted audience in the form of their children. Emma Lou Harris's Facebook post about her child walking in on her having sex is too real, too relatable, and too freaking funny.

"There's an inevitable moment in every parent's life when your children catch a glimpse of something you'd much rather they didn't," Harris writes in her riotous Facebook post that's struck a chord with moms and dads who've found themselves in similar situations.

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Like many moms walking the face of this earth while trying to dodge Legos, Emma wanted some "adult time" with her man Joe and put her 3- and 1-year-old kids to bed with the quickness so they could get their private party started.

Emma Lou Harris with husband Joe
Emma Lou Harris Blog/Facebook

"We were just getting to the bit of the act about half way through where you actually consider going professional and you wonder why you ain't teaching these kinda moves on some sort of intense weekend course for beginners," the Irish mom reveals in her Facebook post.

Joking she and her man could be the next "Christian and Anastasia yoga instructors," Emma says she was enjoying a "headboards knocking" time -- complete with hair-pulling and nails (work, Mama!) -- when suddenly things went from pleasurable to WTF real quick:

One of Emma's children was in the room calling for her.

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"My panic sweat glands jump into emergency mode busting open like a military operation and my vagina zips itself up to my back immediately before I've even had a chance to turn my head," Harris writes. 

"I look up to see a moving smudge of colour in a 'my little pony' night gown rubbing its eyes and whinging. I pray to the baby Jesus that we have a poltergeist and I also pray it's legally blind .... My vision is blurred with both the sheer fright and with truth tears over fears of who I'll find behind the blur of doom."

Game over.

Needless to say, Emma's 3-year-old daughter, Frankie, seeing her dad on top of her mom probably isn't the story these parents want told to friends at the playground. That's why this mom and dad leaped into action.

"I watched [Joe], almost in slow motion fly through the air in panic, the anaconda swerving all over the place threatening to strangle me to death in the act," Harris shares in her Facebook post. 

"My hair is looking like I've just had the misfortune of [a] science project exploding in my face. Joe is huddled in the corner of the room under a white duvet, rocking back and forth like he's going through an exorcism, all the while muttering pleads to Jesus under his breath that this isn't happening."

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Thankfully, all little Frankie wanted was help in a search for her soother, which ended with the 3-year-old resting soundly asleep and her parents frightened AF they scarred their daughter.

"All I know is, if in the future, my poor, poor innocent child ever comes to me and tells me she remembers a very vivid dream where two large warthogs were trying to give each other a hoosh over a wall ... well, I guess I'll have my answer," Harris admits.