9 Ways to Bring Intimacy Back After Having a Baby


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Remember the days when you were busy trying to make a baby rather than busy taking care of a baby? Remember how much fun that was? And remember how you swore that you would never turn into one of those “Sorry honey, but I’ve got a headache tonight” women?

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And now here you are, a mother. You’re a wonderful mother. But you’re also an exhausted and overwhelmed mother. And to top it all off, pregnancy and labor and birth changed your body so much that intimacy has become something that just doesn’t always feel good. Your partner actually cheered when you came home from your 6-week postpartum checkup all cleared by the doc to have sex again, but inside you were just cringing.

The good news is, you’re definitely not alone – and there are definitely ways to help foster an intimate emotional connection with your partner, as well as improve the physical side, too. Here are 10 surefire ways to rekindle the spark after having a baby.

  1. Fantasize. We all have fantasies, and while we may never act on them, they sure can be fun. Spend a few minutes before bed letting your mind go wherever in the world it wants to go. There’s nothing wrong with mind games to help get you in the mood! For an extra sexy bonus, share them with your partner.
  2. Get rid of the kid. Not for good. Just for a night. Or even an afternoon. Ask a friend or relative to “borrow” the baby for a few hours, since it’s hard to think sexy thoughts when you could be interrupted by a crying baby at any moment.
  3. Make time for non-baby conversation. You could talk about your baby for hours on end. And you probably do. But, you absolutely have to make time for grown-up talk. You may be surprised at how a simple adult conversation can carry right through to the bedroom.
  4. Get a room. Hotel rooms can be ultra-sexy. Book a room, book a sitter (see #2, above), and have a ball.
  5. Celebrate your body! You had your baby a few months ago and now it’s bikini season, but inside, you feel dry and unsexy. (Ugh.) Even though your OB/GYN gave you the green light for intimacy, your body is not ready for that kind of vacay. So tell yourself that your sexy body is amazing for giving life. That confidence will be a turn-on for you both!
  6. Need a helping hand? Sometimes we need dryness relief to feel like ourselves and enjoy intimacy again. ProHydrate Natural Feel Moisturizing Gel by Vagisil can help! Unlike messy lubes that have to be used in the moment (hello, buzzkill), you can apply ProHydrate as often as every three days to maintain moisture so your sex life doesn’t have to be sidelined – or even interrupted! – by vaginal dryness.
  7. Make sure you kiss a lot. Never, ever, go to sleep without kissing your partner good night. And always kiss each other goodbye when one or both of you go off to work in the morning. It’s a simple ritual but a really important connection.
  8. Sext it up. Yes, even you can send a sexy text. Surprise your partner with a promise of what’s to come once the baby gets to sleep. Just make sure to follow through!
  9. How do I love thee? Don’t let your thoughts be overcome by daily frustrations with each other. Remind yourself and your partner of all the reasons you fell in love in the first place.
  10. Get on a schedule. It’s just as important to schedule adult time as it is to get your baby on a schedule. While having a regular Friday night date may take the spontaneity out of your sex life, it’s better than the alternative.

Remember that the best thing you can do as a parent is to give your baby a happy home. And a happy home is one that is filled with love. Don’t forget how it all began.

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