'Worst Mom Ever' Shares the 1 Big Mistake We Make With Our Sons

Sad boy

Like most women, I've had times throughout my life when I've felt less than perfect -- or have fought to love me for me without the desire to change myself. I promised myself when I became a mom that I would help any daughter I might have navigate these feelings and find self-acceptance and love, but since becoming a boy mom, I've found that my sons need these affirmations, too. If we're honest with ourselves, we've all feared passing our self-doubts on to our kids. This is one of the reasons why I relate to Kristy, a woman who says she feels like the "worst mom ever" because of her son's body image issues.


Kristy revealed her touching story on the Breastfeeding Mama Talk Facebook page, where she admitted she's struggled to love and accept her body. After hearing her little boy call himself "ugly" in the mirror, Kristy and her husband did everything they could to combat his negative self-talk with words of love.

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Though Kristy's husband was able to get a smile from their son after calling him handsome and telling him they look alike, this mom was crushed when her attempts to soothe him got the opposite response.

"I told him, 'And you look like me a little too,'" Kristy shares on Breastfeeding Mama Talk. "And then he frowns and almost cries and says, 'What?! That means I am ugly then because mommy says she's ugly, if I look like mommy that means I'm ugly too!'"

Mom shares heartbreaking story of dealing with self-esteem issues within and her little son
Breastfeeding Mama Talk/Facebook

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Talk about gut-wrenching!

I can only imagine what a blow this was for Kristy -- and the guilt she must've felt for her little guy as he dealt with such familiar feelings of inadequacy. This encounter is such an important reminder to parents that our children -- both girls AND boys -- are listening to our words and that the things we say about ourselves have the ability to influence their perspective, especially when it comes to body image.

As this mom notes, "Those little innocent enough comments you make in passing are being noticed and are planting seeds in their heads." She continues:

It's so easy to find stuff to criticize about yourself and even easier to say them out loud. I have got to do better. Even if I don't believe it I have got to be more positive about the way I look, even though deep inside I'm disgusted with myself. Disgusted with my weight gain, disgusted with being disgusted about weight gain & not really doing anything to lose it, disgusted with the huge bags under my eyes.

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This story makes me take a hard look at my life and the seeds I'm planting in my children. It's so easy to utter a negative thought in passing without giving it much consideration, and I hope there's nothing I've said that would make either of my boys second-guess the awesomeness and beauty they possess. 

I try my hardest to stay as positive as possible with my kids -- even when I don't feel like it. I do things like daily affirmations with my boys to make sure they know they're loved, wonderful (sans tantrums), and are handsome little guys, because -- like girls -- little boys need to be reassured in the confidence and self-love departments, too. 

As horrible as Kristy must have felt hearing her son mirror her own negative words, there is a silver lining. She says her son taught her a valuable lesson she'll never forget.

"When I put myself down, I'm letting my son down in the process and that is not okay," Kristy notes on Breastfeeding Mama Talk. "I fight a daily battle with depression/anxiety/ADHD [and] sometimes they get the best of me. Not an excuse, just the truth. I have to try harder to love myself just the way I am. I am human so it's natural to make mistakes, but I am a mom so I have no choice but to learn from them and do better."

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That's all we really can do as parents: learn from our mistakes and try to do better for the sake of our children.

Hopefully Kristy's honesty and willingness to share her story will help other moms realize they aren't alone in their struggles, and that there's still time to change the way we look at life -- and ourselves -- so we can encourage our kids to love every aspect of who they are.

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