11 Crazy AF Things Moms Have Overheard Driving the Carpool

Liz Alterman | Feb 10, 2017 Being a Mom

mom driving carpool
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While parents don't particularly love driving kids from one activity to the next, carpooling is a great way to cut down on all those trips back and forth. It's also a chance for moms, dads, and caregivers to overhear some pretty hilarious conversations. We put the question out to our own friends as well as the CafeMom community and asked them to share the wackiest things they've been privy to while acting as chauffeur -- and their answers will crack you up.  

From spilling family secrets to getting things completely wrong, kids can make the carpool a lot more interesting. Take a peek at what some of these parents have overheard and prepare to roar with laughter.

  • Sperm & Eve

    1

    "One 8-year-old asked my son if he knew what sperm was. My son confidently replied, 'Of course!' (Much to my shock and surprise!!) 'Sperm was the first man on earth. You know ... Sperm and Eve!'" -- Karen Kalil

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  • Big What?

    2

    "Totally out of the blue one day my daughter's friend turns to her and says, 'My mom says my dad has a really big penis!' I thought I was going to drive off the road." -- Anonymous mom of one in New Jersey

  • Unusual Snack

    3

    "My son's friend: 'You can't eat your pets, but it'll be okay if you only eat a little fur.'

    My son: 'But my kitty chokes and throws up hair balls?'

    Friend: 'That's what separates us from the animals.'" -- LearnedFromMist

  • Gas

    4

    "I was driving one morning and this little girl told me while she was getting ready for school her mom farted and it smelled so bad that they had to open a window." -- la_bella_vita

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  • Woody ... Not That Kind

    5

    "Many years ago the movie Toy Story was a big hit with the young crowd. I often babysat for a lovely little boy who was still wetting the bed at night. I think he may have been 4 or 5 and really enjoyed the movie Toy Story with all of its characters.

    As we were driving somewhere, he announced, 'Daddy says when I stay dry at night I'm gonna get a woody!' Trying not to burst out laughing, I said 'What?' He then proceeded to explain that when he can stop wetting the bed at night, his father was going to buy him the 'Woody' action figure! Too cute." -- Leslie Elia

  • Sassy 6-Year-Old

    6

    "I was driving the girl next door and her friend home one afternoon when they were in first grade and the friend said she needed to figure out a way to look sexier at recess. My kids and I were like, 'Wha??'" -- Anonymous mom of two in New Jersey

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  • Hot-ness

    7

    "My daughter's friend is the youngest of three -- her sisters are much older -- and I was driving them home when day when I heard them talking about a boy in class. Her friend says, 'He's so hot!' and my daughter said, 'You mean like all sweaty?'

    She just doesn't even think like that!" -- Anonymous mom of two in New Jersey

  • Mom in Trouble

    8

    "My daughter's friend told me her mom has to work at home now because she got kicked out of the office. She asked me, 'Do you [want to] know why she got kicked out?'

    "I told her it's not nice to talk about people's personal business. Part of me really wants to know though." -- Anonymous

  • iPad in Use

    9

    "I was driving my son's friend home one day when he said he felt sorry for his mom. His little brother dropped her iPad in the toilet so now when she 'wants to read while she poops, she has to use her phone.'

    Way too much info!" -- Anonymous mom of three in New Jersey

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  • Dad's New Girlfriend

    10

    "My son's friend was talking about his dad's new girlfriend and said, 'My mom says she only looks that good because she's had 'boobtox!' ... which I'm guessing is a combination of a boob job and Botox, but I wasn't about to ask!" -- Anonymous mom of three in New Jersey

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  • Strange Compliment

    11

    "One of my son's friends got in the car and said it smelled good, which I thought was odd, but then he added, 'Our car smells like a Dumpster because my brother left chicken nuggets in a cupholder.'

    Gross!" -- Anonymous mom of four in New York

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