11 Moms Reveal Why They Refuse to Assign Their Kids Chores

Liz Alterman | Jan 19, 2017 Being a Mom


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In plenty of families, moms and dads agree that they'd like their children to help out around the house. But, in others, the concept of "chores" isn't something all parents are down with. Whether they believe kids should "just be kids" or don't have the wherewithal for the begging and pleading required to get youngsters to pitch in, some parents don't assign chores at all.  

We asked moms in our CafeMom community to share the reasons they don't give their children chores, and their answers are pretty interesting. 

Take a look and see if any of their responses align with your own way of thinking -- or could they get you to change your mind when it comes to the old chore chart?

  • Responsibility via Extracurriculars

    1

    "They are kids. They don't need chores to be taught responsibilities. Their commitment to their respective activities help with that. For example, my daughter, 6, is in a ballet company. She is being taught responsibility to herself and co-dancers, her costumes, dance wear, etc. My other daughter, 9, is doing the same with the violin -- not to mention school and the hard work we expect them to put in with grades.

    Yes, they know how to clean and pick up. But IMO, their childhood is bitterly brief. I want them to soak up all of it. Chores can come later."

  • Schoolwork Is Enough

    2

    "School is so intense these days that when my kids are home, I want them to relax once their homework is done. I'm a stay-at-home mom so I try to get most of the 'chores' done while they're at school anyway."

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  • Chores Aren't a 'Part of Childhood'

    3

    "It's just not something I care about. My parents never gave chores so for me it's not ingrained as a part of childhood."

  • More Harm Than Good

    4

    "Every time I ask my son to empty the dishwasher he breaks a glass or a plate. I've ended up just doing it myself to avoid more work and cleanup later. LOL."

  • Poor Choice of Words

    5

    "We do not have 'chores' -- we have responsibility. I don't like to use the word 'chores' because they got the idea that they would grow up and not have them anymore. You always have responsibilities."

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  • Want Something Done Right? DIY

    6

    "They have certain things they do, like clean up their rooms and take care of the garbage, but the rest? I do it because I like to do them myself. It just doesn't feel that it's done right if I don't do them. LOL."

  • Can't Stand the Complaining

    7

    "My kids do not do chores -- well, not often. They have had them in the past and it was more time spent complaining and not doing, so I just said 'f*ck it' and pretty much do everything myself."

  • 'They Should Help When I Ask'

    8

    "Rather than having a set schedule of 'chores,' I like my kids to help when I ask them to. Also, I think the word 'chores' often goes hand-in-hand with an allowance and I don't believe in paying my kids to help out. We're a family. Pitching in should be a given."

  • They Willingly Help -- No Asking Required

    9

    "I don't give my kids chores because they have always asked to help with tasks around the house. They offer to make dinner, sweep the floors, generally clean their rooms, do a great job taking care of their rabbits, help put away laundry, etc. Why assign chores when they want to help at this age? Maybe when they are older and don't want to help I will consider it, but for now, I don't see a need to make helping a negative experience. They view helping in a positive light and I don't want to change that by forcing them." 

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  • History Repeating Itself

    10

    "Growing up, my brother and sister and I had so many chores to do and it felt like our parents were constantly nagging us. I really didn't want that experience for my own kids." 

  • They Should Be Creative

    11

    "I really want my son and daughter to use their creativity and imaginations while they're young. They'll have the rest of their lives for mundane, mindless tasks. It makes me happy to see them reading or coloring or building something. If that means I fold the laundry, who cares?"

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