11 Moms Who Survived Being Bullied -- by Other Moms

Wendy Robinson | Jan 13, 2017 Being a Mom

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My son is in third grade, which means he's had three solid years of school curriculum about bullying. Don't get me wrong, I think making sure kids learn about kindness is great. But after spending some time in various online parenting communities, I can't help but think it might be the moms that need the anti-bully training more than their kids. Sometimes it is astounding how mean other moms can be.  

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From stay-at-home versus working mom battles, to mean girl comments about post-baby bodies, and the never-ending fights about vaccines, breastfeeding, and whether or not letting your baby cry it out makes you a monster, there is no doubt that moms can be brutal to other moms. 

Let's be blunt -- online or off, mom bullies suck. Parenting is hard enough without having to deal with gossip, judgement, and being left out. 

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I spoke with some moms who survived their nasty encounters with mean moms and was surprised at both how cruel some women can be -- and at some of the lessons learned from the experience of being a bully's victim. 

  • Crunchy Mean Moms

    1

    "I thought I'd found my tribe when I joined this prenatal yoga group. I'm pretty crunchy granola, you know, so I was digging the natural vibe and the fact that most of us were planning for home births and stuff. 

    But then when my daughter came, I ended up having a C-section and then all sorts of nursing problems, so I opted for formula. (I tried to nurse but it was impossible.) It was tough to accept that parenting was harder than I expected, but it was harder that I felt like I got such judgement from the other moms in the group. It was lots of snide comments about the bottle and fake sympathy that I didn't 'have a real birth.' 

    I finally quit the postnatal yoga class. Life is too short for spending it with bitchy moms." -- D.F. 

  • Like Mother, Like Daughter

    2

    "My daughter was being bullied at school, so I confronted the moms of the mean girls about it. It turns out that the apple doesn't fall far from the tree. The two of them turned out to be total gossips and spread all sorts of rumors about me and my daughter. I even had a teacher ask me if it was true that my husband and I were getting a divorce!" -- N.W. 

  • Taking a Stand

    3

    "I was pretty active in an online community for anti-vax moms. I was determined to make things as natural as possible for my baby and I felt nervous about giving his little body all those shots. I felt like we were these warriors for our kids, you know? The group was really passionate and I loved it. 

    But then my nephew was diagnosed with leukemia. His oncologist really explained to us about how important it was for those who were spending time with him to be fully vaccinated. I struggled with it for about two days and then realized that keeping him safe was the most important thing and I got my son up to date with his shots.

    Well, when I confided in one of the other moms that I vaccinated, she outed me to the group and I got all these mean messages, including people telling me they hoped my son died or got autism so I'd 'learn my lesson.' The group that seemed so tight totally turned on me. It was like a mob. It was awful." -- G.E. 

  • Odd Mom Out

    4

    "Yeah, I'm an atheist, tattooed, beer-loving mom who lives in Salt Lake City! I'm for sure the odd mom out in our mostly Mormon neighborhood. Nobody is mean exactly, but I'm never included in neighborhood activities and neither are my kids. That part really sucks. I can't wait to move away from here when my husband finishes grad school." -- E.R. 

  • The Gym Crew

    5

    "I was good friends with some women I met at a gym class. We were all super into fitness and following a Paleo lifestyle. Lots of meat potlucks and family get-togethers. It was great, until it wasn't. 

    I ended up getting an injury and couldn't work out for months and I kind of fell off the wagon for the Paleo thing. I put on about 20 pounds and totally got iced out of my friend group. I'd see Facebook posts about them going out for dinners or the movies and I never got invited anymore. Eventually they stopped texting me back. 

    It feels like once I wasn't like them anymore, they didn't like me anymore. It really hurt to feel like 20 pounds made me less desirable as a friend." -- P.I. 

    More from CafeMom: Are You Raising a Bully? (Quiz)

  • All Alone

    6

    "I'm very religious, so when my husband told me that he had fallen in love with someone else and wanted a divorce, I was completely blindsided and devastated. I felt like I was losing everything. 

    What I didn't expect was that I would end up losing my church friends. Divorce isn't really allowed in our church and even though it wasn't my idea, I felt like I was blamed for not being a good enough wife. Women that I had prayed with suddenly wouldn't even return my calls. It was awful. I eventually had to find a new church." -- C.R.

  • Taking Sides

    7

    "The mom I get bullied by is my mother-in-law. No matter what I do, it is wrong. She is alway trying to get my husband to take sides between us and she is forever acting like I don't know how to parent. 

    I've given up. My husband goes to see her every Sunday and I stay home with my boys. I'd rather not spend a precious weekend day feeling like crap about myself." -- J.D. 

  • High School Flashback

    8

    "When I tried to join the PTA at my daughter's new school, I ended up having total high school flashbacks. There were clearly the cool girls and I was NOT one of them. The cool moms were all stay-at-home moms who are like size 2 and blond. I couldn't stand seeing all of these other women basically grovel to be part of the fun committees. 

    Yeah, I'm a PTA dropout." -- S.F. 

  • Better Off

    9

    "I was really involved in the alumni group of my college sorority until I had a falling out over event planning with our president. She called me out in front of everyone and called me lazy and basic. I was devastated and pissed, honestly. 

    I ended up venting about it with another soror and she and I totally hit it off. Now we're workout buddies and I feel like I have a real friend." -- T.Y. 

  • Happy Ending

    10

    "When I had my first kiddo, I had a run-in with a group of mean moms in a music class. I didn't fit in, didn't have the right purse, didn't have enough money, whatever. They actually told me that I wasn't a 'good fit' -- for TODDLER MUSIC CLASS! 

    Then I had my second baby and I wanted to join a mother and baby fitness group but I was totally gun-shy. I was so afraid to be the new girl and to find out I wasn't a good fit. I signed up and went to the first session and then freaked out and turned around to go back to the parking lot. 

    One of the other moms saw me and encouraged me to come and swore that the group was really nice. And she was right! I'm so glad I didn't get scared off by the first bunch of mean heifers." -- E.L. 

  • Soccer Monsters

    11

    "I survived when soccer moms attack! My son was on a travel team and he was pretty good. When he got moved to goalie, it caused World War III! He took the spot of another kid, and his mom was a total pill about it. She claimed I was flirting with the coach and that my son didn't deserve the spot. It was insane because we're talking about 10-year-olds here! 

    She got it to the point where none of the other moms would even sit by me at games. It felt so embarrassing. Thankfully my son eventually decided that he'd rather play basketball. I left the last game with such relief. 

    Now my daughter is starting soccer. I'm kind of hoping she isn't any good. I don't know if I can handle another travel team of soccer mom monsters." -- J.J. 

    More from CafeMom: 5 Perfect Comebacks for When Mean Moms Attack

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