This Open Letter Will Change the Way You Look at Your Friends Without Kids

Depressed woman embracing her friend at home

In addition to the never-ending "Mommy Wars," there's often a battle in our society between women who have children and those who don't. "Unless you have kids, don't tell me about parenting." "You'll never understand until you become a mother." Rhetoric like this is often so hurtful and painful to the very people we love to call family or friend -- and who we depend on. This is why blogger and mom Constance Hall's open letter to her friends without children is an absolute must read. It truly takes a village to raise a child.

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"Thanks for giving a f*ck about my kids."

Although Constance's now-viral Facebook post takes a few funny turns, this Australian blogger's words about the importance of recognizing and thanking our child-free friends for being so present in our children's lives is too important to overlook.

And just might move you to tears ...

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Constance has so many wonderful takeaways, especially when she says:

You come to my kids' parties, not because your kids have dragged you there but because you actually want to come.

You laugh at stories about the kids with such authenticity, not just because you can relate but because you are actually interested.

You come to kid friendly restaurants and eat curly f*cking chips while my arsehole children play on your phone and knock your drink over, when you could be at some opening of some cool place with the millions of cool people who invite you out.

 Aah. All of this!

Constance tugs on my heartstrings even more with her kind words for loved ones who chose not to have children, or are struggling to start their own family.

Some of you chose not to have kids, I admire that so much.
Some of you desperately wanted them and instead of being jealous or bitter towards me for having so many you relish in mine and love them with your whole soul.

I never remember a time before I had kids that I was that gracious and cool enough to sacrifice a Saturday night at the pub so that I could sit on the kitchen floor playing twister with a friend's kid.

So perfect.

Needless to say, Constance's beautiful open letter has resonated with so many people -- including women without children -- who treasure knowing the love they have for kids that aren't their own is so appreciated.

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There aren't enough words to express how much I love this message.

When you're a mom, it becomes so easy to get wrapped up in your child's world. After all, you are his or her everything for the time being. And while your new normal will likely result in a few changes in your life, it's important for us mothers to think about our tone before speaking to friends who don't have kids.

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They're our allies, the people we break down in tears to after a hard day, and the ones we hope bring wine to the house when they come and visit.

I was just having this conversation with a gal pal who doesn't feel validated because she is childless. Listening to her, and her truth, made me realize that some women feel so out of place -- and feel that the love they have for children who aren't their own isn't enough.

... And that couldn't be further from the truth.

I'm beyond grateful for all the friends, sisters, aunties, and "fairy godmothers" in my life who help make this crazy beautiful thing called parenting work. I can never express my gratitude and the love I have for these amazing women who love my sons.

I'm so thankful for your support, your diligence, and your willingness to be so involved.

As Constance says, "... thanks for being true Queens."

 

Image via wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock

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