13 Things No New Mom Wants to Hear (Like Ever ... for All Eternity)

Tanvier Peart | Sep 16, 2016 Being a Mom
13 Things No New Mom Wants to Hear (Like Ever ... for All Eternity)

Woman covering ears with his hands.

Becoming a parent for the first time is already a nerve-racking experience without having tons of people throw in their two cents on the daily. Do this. Don't do that. As great as the intent might be to help a new mom, there are some things that should just remain unsaid.

The truth is, new moms are constantly bombarded with advice, tips, and people trying to show us what to do. We need time to process, time to heal, and time to take a breath, so we can find the energy -- and mental strength -- to be the best mothers to our babies.

These new mommies are speaking up on the things they don't want to hear, like, at all.

don't say to a new mom 

Image via file404/Shutterstock

  • 'Wow, You Still Look Pregnant'

    Image via g-stockstudio/Shutterstock

    "Seriously, who the hell asks a question like this? Thanks for making me feel even more sh*tty about my body. Really, I appreciate being told how pregnant I still look after having twins." -- Marilyn C.

    More from CafeMom: 10 Things NOT to Say to a New Mom

  • 'Your Baby Looks Nothing Like You'

    Image via Yuganov Konstantin/Shutterstock

    "OMG, this is exactly what I wanted to hear after laboring for 25 hours! How did you know? I'm okay with my baby looking nothing like me. He came out of my vagina so I know he's mine. Why are we so focused on this and not health -- or world peace or something? Sheesh." -- Shauna P.

  • 'You Took the Easy Way Out'

    Image via Firma V/Shutterstock

    "I'm so sorry that 32 hours of labor doesn't justify the use of an epidural to you. I tried to have a natural delivery, but it was too painful for me. I don't need to be reminded of how I 'took the easy way out' 24/7. My son is here, and he's healthy. That's all that should matter." -- Vanessa E.

    More from CafeMom: Everything You've Ever Wanted to Know About Epidurals But Were Afraid to Ask

  • 'Thank God You're Just a Housewife'

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    "People sometimes don't realize how painful their words can be. Yes, I am a 'housewife.' I don't work outside the home, but that does not mean I don't work. I thought the criticism for staying home would end once I had a child, but now it seems like people think parenting will be easier since I'm a stay-at-home mom. Do they not realize I'm the one who has to feed, change, and comfort this baby alone all day -- including evenings when my husband works very late? I don't have help. I don't get a break. And I don't have the support of a daycare. Being 'just a housewife' is not as easy as it looks." -- Samantha R.

  • 'You Have Stretch Marks'

    Image via michaelheim/Shutterstock

    "I remember feeling so good about going back to the gym after having my daughter. It was my first time, and I took a yoga class a couple weeks after her birth. My sun salutation bliss, however, quickly turned into a nightmare when a woman, who was in the locker room with me, asked if I had been in a fire -- because of my stretch marks. I couldn't fight back the tears." -- Justine W.

  • 'You Look Tired'

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    "Does your noticing the bags under my eyes, the baby vomit on my shoulder, and my messy hair mean I get a free trip to the spa? Please say yes. Of course I'm tired, I'm a new mom." -- Olivia H.

    More from CafeMom28 Ways to Help a New Mom Who Just Had a Baby

  • 'You're Breastfeeding, Right?'

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    "Yes, I am breastfeeding. God knows the lactation nurse in the hospital, who made herself super comfy with my titties, made sure of that. Gosh, what if I couldn't produce milk? There's such a pressure to breastfeed!" -- Lindsay M.

  • 'I'm on the Way!'

    Image via violetblue/Shutterstock

    "I just gave birth. I need sleep and the ability to heal in my house without worrying about who is coming over. As great as your intentions are, the stress of feeling like you have to entertain people is not what the doctor ordered. My hairs are standing thinking about this ... " -- Casey F.

  • 'Going Back to Work So Soon?'

    Image via cunaplus/Shutterstock

    "I feel rage every time someone reminds me of going back to work -- as if I can help only having four weeks of paid leave. If I had the choice, I would love to stay at home with my baby longer ... but I can't. These bills aren't going to pay for themselves." -- Winnie F.

    More from CafeMom: 11 Working Moms Confess What's Hardest About Trying to 'Have It All'

  • 'Are You Ready for Baby Number 2?'

    Image via Anneka/Shutterstock

    "I JUST had my baby two weeks ago. I can barely move without feeling discomfort in my abs (and lack thereof), let alone think about popping out another child in the near future. I need a minute." -- Amerie W.

  • 'You'll Be Back in Those Pre-Baby Jeans in No Time'

    Image via Chepko Danil Vitalevich/Shutterstock

    "I wish my aunt knew how much my size six pair of jeans are not on my mind. I'm exhausted. I'm bleeding. I could use a Snickers. Please stop worrying whether or not I can fit into my jeans, and come change a diaper." -- Audrey A.

  • 'You're Wasting Your Money'

    Image via Elnur/Shutterstock

    "For the life of me, I'll never understand why people -- especially other moms -- think it's okay to make comments about what people buy. If I want one of those swaddle blankets with Velcro or a diaper wipe warmer, let me do me. You aren't paying the bills in my house and, come to think of it, never bought me a baby gift anyway. Why do you care?" -- Clarissa O.

  • 'That's Not How I Did It'

    Image via ESB Professional/Shutterstock

    "Before you even continue with your rant of all the things that worked for you as a new mom -- and why I'm screwing up -- please stop. I'm open to suggestions, but not stroking your ego." -- Farah I.

    More from CafeMom: 25 Most Outrageous Bits of Parenting Advice Have Ever Gotten


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