Sleep-Away Camp May Mean Orgies for Some Moms, but I Want More

couple jumping on bedYou know that old expression, "While the cat's away, the mice will play"? Well, for many parents whose kids head off for weeks at sleep-away camp, it's go-time. While some may choose to indulge in drug-fueled sex parties -- at least in Manhattan -- others savor some of summer's simpler pleasures. 

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A recent New York Post article shined a spotlight on parents who use their kids' absence as a chance to get back in touch with their wild sides. One mom, Elle, who didn't give her last name (for obvious reasons), shared this: "As soon as [our children] left, we've been in nonstop [party] mode -- it's seven weeks of freedom."

The fitness instructor is now able to "enjoy parties with pot, magic mushrooms, ecstasy, and group sex."

Um, okay, if that's what you're into. But at the risk of sounding like a bore, those things wouldn't top my list of kid-free activities. 

Now, my children haven't been to sleep-away camp (yet!), but if and when they do, I think I'll forgo the orgies and 'shrooms in favor of some much more basic pleasures. The following are a few of the activities I'd prefer to staying up all night doing keg stands.

1. Chow down

Without those watchful little eyes, I'd eat all sorts of junk food and not feel an ounce of guilt about setting a bad example -- or not wanting to share.

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2. Barefootin'

I'd cruise around the house sock-and-shoeless without fear of stepping on the Legos and Matchbox cars that can bring me to my knees wincing and cursing like a gangsta rapper after a single misstep.

3. Slice & dice

I'd cook up a feast with adult ingredients like mushrooms and onions and give grilled cheese and ravioli the night off. 

4. Zzzz

I'd enjoy a nap, anytime, anywhere.

5. Shopping spree

I could grocery shop in under two hours -- and without temper tantrums and spending more than $50 on things masquerading as "fruit."

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6. No potty, no problem

I'd clean the toilet weekly rather than hourly -- and I wouldn't miss those random toy and tennis ball retrievals one bit.

7. Four seasons in one day

I'd binge-watch with impunity.

8. New American Idol

I'd get my groove on in the car without getting made fun of -- or Snapchatted without my consent.

9. Solo soaking

I'd use the bathroom alone for a change.

10. What was I saying?

My hubby and I could finish a sentence (or a thought) without interruption.

11. Good night, Austen

I could read a book without pictures!

Of course, it goes without saying that moms and dads miss the little guys terribly, so no matter what you choose to do while you're apart, make the most of it!

 

Image via luminast/Shutterstock

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