15 Totally Weird Things Parents Have Caught Their Little Kids Doing


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Kids might say the darndest things, but they also do the weirdest things -- as a recent Reddit thread that asked parents what's the weirdest thing they'e caught their child doing proves. The responses posted by admirably honest -- and patient! -- moms and dads will make any parent cringe in painfully funny recognition (plus, they just might make parents feel like their kid isn't all that odd after all). Ah, the power of the interwebs bringing us all together ...

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We found real parents who described the funniest, what-the-heck moments ever caused by their children. The truth about children being that they are totally strange, of course. Maybe it's their wild imagination, their boundless energy, or their lack of understanding about how the world works, but raising kids is like raising some of the biggest weirdos we've ever met. The only silver lining is that we as parents get to watch all of these hilarious high jinks from the safe distance of time and age ... and then of course tell the Internet about all of the funny things our kids do.

More from CafeMom: 5 Signs a Toddler Is Ready to Move to a Bed

Click through our slideshow to read some of the most hair-raisingly hilarious stories ever told from the parenting trenches! And remember, this is all fodder for our own future parenting memoirs. 

  • Pushing Buttons

    1

    "[Two and a half year old] old son will lift my shirt just enough to see my belly button when I'm sitting on the couch, stick his finger in my belly button, and just sit there like it is completely normal. If I try to remove his finger he just puts it back. No idea why."

    -- Inconspicuously_here

  • Ham Fisted

    2

    "I walked into the kitchen one day to see my 4-year-old son cleaning the counter with a piece of ham. He then went over to the sink, washed off the piece of ham, and then started to eat it."

    -- Link-to-the-Pastiche

  • Sticky Situation

    3

    "My daughter, who's 5, took a sip of juice from a straw, spit it into her hand, and then proceeded to rub it into her hair like it was hair product or something. Right after I'd given her a shower. Why?"

    -- marzipandancer

  • Doggone It

    4

    "I heard our new puppy yelping one afternoon like he was hurt. My then almost 2-year-old daughter was yelling 'noooo bad puppy.' Ran into her room where I guess the new puppy had done his business on her carpet. My daughter had the puppy by the scruff, one hand wrapped around a mushed dog turd she was trying to 'put back in.' Poor dog wouldn't go near her for a year."

    -- mightycluck

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  • Can't Hold Back

    5

    "Daughter was in her room singing 'Let it Go' and suddenly took it from singsong to death-metal screaming. She was 6."

    -- saketuyas

  • Vampires & Bears, Oh My!

    6

    "My daughter drew a picture of vampires and bears standing around. However she decided to draw them all pooping and with penises. She clearly labeled all of the parts so there wouldn't be any confusion."

    -- Porkpants81

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  • Wallflower

    7

    "When my cousin's daughter was at the end of her diaper-wearing age, she'd be running around and then just stop and stand in a corner facing the wall. We would ask 'Lexi, what are you doing?' and she'd angrily shoot back 'I'm pooping! Don't look at me!' Apparently her dad used to do the same thing."

    -- Azusanga

  • Captain Underpants

    8

    "I heard loud music coming from my 3-year-old son's room upstairs. When I yelled for him the music stopped and he appeared in the hall, wearing only underwear, sunglasses, and a second pair of underwear on his head. 'What, Dad?' What do you even say to that?"

    -- oldforger

  • All Bark

    9

    "When my oldest was 6 months old, my mom taught him how to bark (she was teaching him animal noises). That night, he put a blanket over his head and barked at the wall for fifteen minutes straight."

    -- thelemurologist

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  • Lick It Up

    10

    "Thoughtfully, slowly, and repeatedly licking the floor."

    -- dragon1031

  • Piano Man

    11

    "Walked into my 3-year-old's room to find him seated at his toy piano, buck naked except for a necktie and a pirate hat, playing and singing his heart out. I thought to myself, 'wherever this kid goes, it's gonna be a party.'"

    -- walk_through_this

  • My Precious

    12

    "My toddler went quiet for a moment while I was in the kitchen, and I went looking because I'm not stupid. Found her hunched over like Gollum under the dining table eating a banana (which, by the way, I have no idea how she got it), skin and all."

    -- Ghastlycitrus

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  • Cereal Killer

    13

    "Broke into a sobbing fit in the cereal aisle at Walmart because she 'killed all those people a thousand years ago and hid them in the ground.' She was 4. Still creeps me out."

    -- Mcsmack

  • Kissing the Frog

    14

    "My toddler had just started walking and would eat random things from the floor. One day I looked over and saw the telltale signs of him trying to hide after his newest find. I stick my finger in his mouth and pull out a dried frog. A f*cking flat, dried frog that he had been sucking on. Totally gave me the creeps for a while, I have no idea where he could have found something like that. He was so pissed when I took it away, too ... "

    -- stranger_than_fishin

  • Night's Watch

    15

    "I've caught my 3-year-old standing over her baby brother at one in the morning. She was making sure he 'didn't climb out and kill everyone' even though A) he can't even walk yet and B) he has no reason to go on what would probably be the world's most adorable killing spree."

    -- Teaboo_mom

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