10 Things Parents Say to Make Their Kids Sound Perfect -- When They're Anything But

Liz Alterman | Jun 10, 2016 Being a Mom

angelic boy

A lot of parents operate under the often-misguided belief that their children are perfect. After all, much of the little guys' and gals' behavior is either learned or reinforced by Mom and Dad. While some families may recognize that their little angels also have a devilish side, others prefer to put a decidedly positive spin on those less-than-lovely traits.

You know what we're talking about. We've all been in the company of a mom who smiles while her toddler digs up your tulip bed and, instead of apologizing, proudly says, "Yep, that's my future landscape architect right there!"

Sorry, lady, we're not buying it! The following are other eyebrow-raising euphemisms you may have heard come from optimistic (read: in denial) parents.


Image via Suzanne Tucker/Shutterstock

  • "She's so high-energy!"

    1

    Image via iStock.com/ Mark Rose

    Translation: This kid will rip through your home like a cyclone. Get out your whistle and your referee suit, because you're going to need to sideline this dynamo!

    More from The Stir: 10 Things You Made Fun of Your Mom for Doing ... That You Totally Do Now

  • "He has an amazing appetite!"

    2

    Image via Alexey Losevich/shutterstock

    Translation: Yes, this kid will try your kale chips, but he'll also eat your crayons and your Chap Stick so never take your eyes off him.

  • "Here's our Olympic hopeful!"

    3

    Image via Michelle D. Milliman/shutterstock

    Translation: This child will use your bed as a trampoline, and your coffee table as a balance beam. Take the gymnastics routine outdoors!

  • "We have a budding artist on our hands!"

    4

    Image via panco971/shutterstock

    Translation: Lock up your lipstick before you have a new mural on your dining room wall!

    More from The Stir: 10 Things Our Parents Let Us Do as Kids That Would Get Them Arrested Today

  • "Meet our future magician!"

    5

    Image via Gelpi JM/shutterstock

    Translation: This guy will make your wallet and car keys disappear shortly after you set down your purse. (Wait, where's your purse?)

  • "Oh, she's quite a little actress!"

    6

    Image via iStock.com/ Tomwang112

    Translation: This pint-sized princess is actually a drama queen! Whether she's turning on the charm or the waterworks, be ready for a performance!

  • "He's a master redecorator!"

    7

    Image via iStock.com/ Imgorthand

    Translation: Don't be surprised if this kid dumps out every one of your toy tubs under the guise of building a Lego spaceship and then says the room looks better "this way!"

    More from The Stir: 13 Times Mom Had to Pay Outrageous Fines Because of Their Kids

  • "He'll make a great lawyer some day!"

    8

    Image via iStock.com/ BrianAJackson

    Translation: This little dude will argue over everything, so keep your guard up! You may also recognize this character as the one parents tell you is ready to "captain a debate team."

  • "He's our little explorer!"

    9

    Image via iStock.com/&#169 Pavel Losevsky

    Translation: This intrepid tiny one may end hiding in your closet, attic, or washing machine. If you've got any non-kid-friendly items lying around, it's best to lock them up before he arrives!

  • "She's going to make a wonderful journalist someday!"

    10

    Image via iStock.com/ Johnny Greig

    Translation: OMG the questions! This child won't stop with the "Where?," "Why?," and "How?"s. You can sort of see her as interrogator, but quite frankly you'd prefer to never see her again. Ever.

    More from The Stir: Dear Other Moms: Just Because I Have Kids Doesn't Mean I'm Okay With Yours Tearing Up My House

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