13 Things Your Baby Loves Way More Than You

Eve Vawter | Mar 24, 2016 Being a Mom

Before we get started, I want you to know your baby loves you. You hung the moon and sprinkled stardust across the heavens and you make the sun rise every morning. You are a wonderful mommy and your babies adore you -- just not as much as they love ripping up pieces of paper. 

What else does your baby love more than you? Pretty much everything.

 

Image via Dmitry Lobanov /Shutterstock

  • Car Keys

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    Image via Chimpinski/Shutterstock 

    Your baby loves car keys more than pretty much anything. Yeah yeah, car keys cannot feed a baby or cuddle a baby or change a blow-out death diaper™ ... but if your baby had his or her way and your baby's house was (sadly) on fire, your baby would grab those keys and crawl out a window without giving you a backwards glance. 

  • The Cat's Tail

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    Image via talay/Shutterstock 

    Do you know what is fun to pull, and delicious to shove in baby's mouth, and pretty much way better than you are? The cat's tail. 

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  • Poking Their Fingers into Your Eye

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    Image via leungchopan/Shutterstock 

    Do you know what big fun is? Poking teensy-tiny baby fingers with their sharp tiny little nails into your eyeballs. Babies love that! (More than you, sorry.) 

  • Watching a Ceiling Fan

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    Image via aopsan/Shutterstock 

    What do babies love? Lying in the center of a bed and staring up at a ceiling fan. No one knows why -- probably because they are babies -- and they would rather do this than stare at your face. 

    More from The Stir: 20 Ways Your Baby Is So Much Easier Than an Elementary-Schooler

  • Pulling Your Hair

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    Image via S.Borisov/Shutterstock 

    If you don't have a cat or a cat tail handy, never fear, because your baby also loves grabbing a fistful of your hair and shoving it in her mouth. Mmmmm, delicious hair. 

    More from The Stir: 11 Heart-Melting Images of Babies Meeting Siblings for the First Time

  • Electrical Outlets

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    Image via Sergey Yechikov/Shutterstock 

    This would never happen at your house, because you have outlet plugs in every available outlet. Even the ones that are high up on the wall. But the second you visit a friend or a hotel with no outlet covers, it's party time for baby! Baby will crawl right over to them and start poking.

  • Dog Water

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    Image via Jaromir Chalabala/Shutterstock 

    Almost as much as the cat's tail, the baby loves playing with the dog's water. Nothing can beat splashing in water that contains 78 percent dog backwash. 

  • The Remote Control

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    Image via Evgeny Karandaev/Shutterstock 

    Don't even try giving baby an old remote with no batteries in it. Baby for some reason knows. Baby only wants the remote to the TV you are currently watching. To shove in his mouth. 

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  • Taking Their Diapers Off

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    Image via Sharomka/Shutterstock 

    As soon as they are able to, babies love taking off their own diapers. Especially when it's the middle of the night and you can walk in to find baby in a soaking wet crib, smiling away, with that diaper on the floor. 

  • Putting Random Disgusting Things in Their Mouths

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    Image via Eric Isselee/Shutterstock 

    Leave your baby on the floor, and she will find anything disgusting and shove it in her mouth. This includes dust bunnies, old crumbs, and, as my mother is fond of telling anyone who will listen, in my case once a dead housefly. 

  • Your Cell Phone

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    Image via photoshooter2015/Shutterstock

    This goes without saying: This is pretty much baby's favorite thing ever. Don't believe me? Hand baby your cell phone and then try to take it away. That's now baby's cell phone. 

  • Throwing Stuff on the Ground

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    Image via Peter Dankov/Shutterstock 

    If baby loves one thing, that thing will end up on the ground. Or the floor. Or tossed from the car seat into the front seat while you are driving. Your baby loves her pacifier? Baby throws it on the ground! Loves his stuffed bear? The baby is NOT going to be part of your system, man. 

  • Ripping Paper

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    Image via niderlander/Shutterstock

    Babies love the sound of ripping paper, as illustrated in this video and thousands of others uploaded online. I don't even know why we bother buying baby actual presents when a notebook will do. 

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