If the #MotherhoodChallenge Makes You Want to 'Punch Your Computer' ... Turn It Off

The #MotherhoodChallenge is taking Facebook by storm. It's an online challenge where moms are suppposed to post three to five pictures of their gloriously happy motherhood moments and then tag three friends, challenging them to do the same. The creator of the challenge is getting "feedback" (that's putting it nicely) from haters galore. But here's what I think. 

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Motherhood is depressing and messy and lonely and generally just a huge mindfuck most of the time. So if some of your friends want to capture the precious few moments when being a mom isn't those things -- when it's calm and sweet and beautiful and Instagram-worthy -- and share them, then let them. 

Yesterday Flic Everett wrote a truly lovely piece in the Guardian about the Facebook #Motherhood Challenge and how this new Facebook fad is "meant to be a bit of fun, but this smug club fetishes motherhood, and creates a new way to measure women and find them wanting."

It's a fantastic article and I agree with Everett in essence, especially: 

And how do the ones who don't get tagged, and see that smug little list of anointed 'great mums' feel? If anyone's judging you as a mother, it should be your children -- and nobody else.

BUT, and this is a BIG 'ol but, I'm always gonna side with the mommies. Shit, I'm a mom, I have four kids, and even though all of them are past the page of adorable, gummy-smiled Facebook snaps or newborns photographed artistically clutching my or my husband's finger in a heavily art-directed black-and-white shot, I remember.

I remember the staggering isolation of motherhood, the sleepless nights and the bloodied and sore nipples and the never-ending diapers and the tantrums and the fretting over whether or not the laundry detergent I bought to wash a million onesies in was going to give my kid a rash. Facebook wasn't around when my kids were little, but I would have welcomed the chance to show the times when motherhood wasn't scary and lonely and I wasn't feeling like an utter failure.

 More from The Stir: 10 Things No One Told Me About Running a 'Mommy and Me' Group

I would have liked being tagged in a post as a "great mom." 

I do appreciate what Everett is saying, but here's the thing. Why is it that we are always giving women, especially moms, shit about the stupid, dumb, little things that make moms happy? And I do assume anyone participating in this challenge sincerely is doing so because it makes them happy. Why aren't we going after the countless Facebook posts that are sexist or racist or derogatory toward women or are calling out Hillary Clinton for how old or haggard she looks? Why are we slagging on moms for enjoying a stupid Facebook fad while they are in between picking Cheerios out of the high-chair cushions and changing the nipple shields in their bras? Why can't we all just learn to do what I do when I find something on Facebook annoying?

Turn off the computer. 

 

Image via Halfpoint/Shutterstock

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