My Husband Wants a Third Child ... He Just Doesn't Know It Yet

Black couple

I've never been one of those people who said, "When I grow up, I want to do blah." I never imagined my dream wedding, and never really thought about what I wanted to study in college -- until I went. One thing, however, that I knew I wanted was a big family, specifically three or more kids. As I'm a mother of two, you would think I was on my way to reaching my dream ... but there's one problem, and I took his last name.


(He's probably somewhere rolling his eyes at me. Yes, babe, I'm talking about you.)

Don't get me wrong: I'm super thankful for the family I have. I love my guy, and am so grateful we haven't killed each other (kidding) in the eight years we've been together (four married). He's the peanut butter to my jelly. The gravy to my biscuits. The John Legend to my Chrissy Teigen. Seeing as everyone -- on both sides of my family -- is divorced, I think we're doing pretty good.

My man and I are also parents to two cute kids. I'm not going to sit here and act like they're the "most perfect little beings in the world." No, sometimes they can be booty holes, but guess what, they're mine. I love them to the ends of the earth and back again -- which is probably what's fueling my "can we please shake some sheets and have a third" baby campaign (this message is approved by the grandparents who want another grandbaby).

More from The Stir: When Is the Right Time to Have Another Child?

Before we got married, there was discussion about how many kids we wanted to have. Somewhere between my six and my husband's "Hell no, that ain't happening!" I feel like we came to a mutual understanding of two or three. But now that I bring up the third, he swears he only said two, and that he's done.

Now that our youngest is 7 months, I've been thinking about the future, and whether or not I want to be pregnant in years to come (ideally, I would like to be done by a certain age, but am all about compromise). We always said we wanted our children close in age, but seeing that our oldest and youngest sons are 16 months apart (wine and a good evening will do that to you), no one is thinking about having a baby next year.

... But maybe, the year after.

"I'm tired and am getting old," my husband always tells me.

Okay ... you're 32, man. Let's not be dramatic.

Yes, raising kids is hard work. And yes, it does make you tired. But hey, there are folks out there with three and four children who are still alive to tell the tale. Why can't we be in that mix?

Call me a Virgo to the bone, I'm a very determined person -- and dang it, I'm going to have a third child. If that means I need to wear the good panties, break out the freakum dress and glitter heels, and keep wine stocked, so be it. We can get that party started TODAY!

Don't make me break out my Beyonce moves.


Honestly, my guy sometimes thinks I'm a creeper, haha. I mean, maybe I have a couple of pregnancy tests chilling in the back of my drawer (you know, just in case I need to do a happy dance). And maybe I monitor the period tracking app on my phone, like I was checking my credit score for fraud -- but I'm not like John Stamos/Law & Order: SVU creepy, where I poke holes in the condoms.

I'm not trying to be a "trap queen," nor do I believe in forcing anyone to do something they honestly don't want to do.

More from The Stir: 9 Ways You KNOW You're Done Having Babies

If my husband really didn't want a third child, it's something I would have to live with. BUT, since he does bring it up (on rare occasions, but they still happen), that, at least to me, means there's still a chance.

Jesse Jackson said it best: "Keep hope alive." I plan to, Jesse. I plan to.

Then again, maybe my guy is waiting it out, as he knows I don't want to have kids past a certain age. Touché.

Let the games begin.

Only time will tell what's in store!




Image via wavebreakmedia/Shutterstock

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