How to Use Your Baby to Have the Laziest Thanksgiving Ever (GIFS)

 Frustrated mom with baby trying to make mealThanksgiving might be a holiday that celebrates good food and loved ones, but boy does it come with hard work. Between the meal planning, the table setting, and those pesky dishes, there are many who might consider it to be overwhelming -- including new moms. Should you want to enjoy turkey and apple pie without being hounded about manual labor, here are some tips on ways to have a lazy Thanksgiving.

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Hint: Your baby is involved.

Feel free to help if you want. Just know it's also okay to rest up too. We have a list of fun excuses to common "problems" you might encounter.

1. "Can you host Thanksgiving dinner?" No, sorry. My oven died a while back, and it was either fix it or buy a crib for the baby. You understand.

2. "I know you were planning to keep things intimate, but is it okay to invite extra people?" See, that won't work. I have a new baby and don't know if these potential guests have all their shots. Next time.

3. "Can (annoying) relatives stay at your house?" Come on. You know I'm trying to keep my child on a sleep schedule. Any changes to the routine will just throw a monkey wrench in the game plan.

More from The Stir: Quiz: Which Thanksgiving Day Guest Are You?

4. "Would you mind cooking the turkey and ham?" I know I get up throughout the night to feed my baby, but it would really be awesome if I didn't have to wake up super early. Plus, my oven is broken.

5. "Think you can run to the store for last-minute needs?" Ugh, I totally would, but then I have to bundle up my baby, put LO in the car seat, find a parking spot that's not in the wilderness, take my baby out of the car, wipe down a shopping cart, figure out how to fit everything with no space (remember, baby and diaper bag take up room), stop and nurse, and then head back home.

Could someone else do it?

6. "Want to set the table?" OMG! My baby just had a level 10 diaper explosion. You don't want me touching the good China with these hands.

7. "Want to help make a side dish?" Crap, I forgot to bring my baby carrier. I would hate for my little one to get burnt by accident. Plus, too many cooks in the kitchen can start a fire.

8. Did someone say try the pies? Forgive me if I'm hearing things, but were you wondering if your pies taste good? I know I'm feeding my baby right now, but feel free to stick a fork in my mouth. I'll tell you if it's good -- but will probably need a second piece to form a better opinion.

More from The Stir: What Your Thanksgiving Dinner Says About You

9. When friends and family look at your plate, and all the food you're eating. What? Don't y'all know I breastfeed and need at least 300 extra calories in my diet? It's for the baby.

10. Time to do the dishes? Ssh, the baby's sleep. Matter of fact, let me go lie down too -- just to make sure my child doesn't need anything, or fall off the bed. Safety first.

Of course, you can always stay at home, order in some food, and tell people the baby wasn't feeling well -- but where's the fun in that?

 

 

Image via Nomad_Soul/shutterstock

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